At one time or another everybody gets fed up and swears off relationships with other people forever. But do they go and marry an inanimate object?
They do if they're like former U.S. Army helicopter pilot Erika La Tour Eiffel.
Did you catch that last name? Erika married the Eiffel Tower two years ago in a small ceremony with some friends in Paris.
Material Obsessions La Tour Eiffel is one of a very small group of people who have intimate relationships with ... objects. These people, called, "objectum sexuals" are never attracted to human beings in the first place.
Click here to learn more about OS people and the objects of their affection.
T.R. Knight: Knight's "Grey's Anatomy" romances with Izzy and Callie made us think he was a lady lover in real life. Not so much.
Boy George: It was the 80s: EVERYONE was wearing make-up. How could we have known?
Chad Allen: Adorably spiky-haired Allen graced the cover of dozens of pre-teen mags and the walls of countless teen girl bedrooms. He got us to watch "Our House" and like it.
George Michael: We thought when he sang "I Want Your Sex" he was talking about us. We were wrong.
Neil Patrick Harris: Doogie set us up for liking awkward too-smart boys for life.
Greg Louganis: We wanted to "go for the gold" with him.
Morrissey Was he gay, or just sensitive?
B.D. Wong: Maybe his campy turn as Howard Weinstein in Father of the Bride should have clued us in, but Wong managed to fool a few of us into thinking he was straight.
Neil Tennant: Well, he did name his band Pet Shop Boys.
There are not very many known OS people in the world. The OS online group was founded by Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer--who coined the phrase--and has approximately 40 members, most of whom are women. Berliner-Mauer (which is German for "Berlin Wall"), tells "The Independent" that objectum sexuality is much more common in Eastern cultures where people "routinely believe that objects have souls."
A Special Relationship OS people don't just love objects, they believe that objects are sentient beings who love them back and talk to them. That's why La Tour Eiffel has a hard time using her bow in archery competitions. They broke up, and now things just aren't the same.
Not everyone who is OS is attracted to large public attractions. One British woman is primarily attracted to radios and hi-fis. And Amy Wolfe has a piece of banister that she just can't get enough of.
The documentary "Strange Love: Married to the Eiffel Tower" (catch the whole thing here) features quite a bit of footage of Wolfe and Mrs. Le Tour Eiffel, including a scene of the two at an amusement park in upstate New York, where Amy visits her main squeeze (you can also tack polygamy onto the list of things they believe in).
The Music of the "Nacht" The ruler of Wolfe's heart is a rather phallic carnival ride called 1001 Nachts. Wolfe caresses and kisses the ride (which frankly doesn't look like nearly as much fun as the Tilt-a-Whirl) and even gets some of its gear oil on her fingers and sniffs them, marveling at how "good" it smells. It's a little awkward to watch, but Jezebel declares it a must-see and provides a good summary for those of you who think the thought of a woman getting down with a picket fence is a little too out-there.
Roughly half of known objectum sexuals have been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, which is an autism spectrum disorder that makes it difficult to form relationships with others.
But David Morgan, a senior psychoanalyst at the Portman NHS Trust for sexual dysfunctions tells The Independent that he thinks the desire to desire objects comes from being treated like an inanimate or unfeeling object in early childhood.
Regardless of what caused it, most OS people seem to be pretty happy the way they are.
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