The key to mind-blowing sex is knowing what works and what doesn't. But that can be hard when there's sooo much info -- both correct and incorrect -- out there. "I'm always amazed that even the most educated, intelligent men and women believe certain things about sex that are completely false," says Barbara Keesling, PhD, professor of Psychology of Human Sexual Behavior at California State University, Fullerton, and author of "The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex."
We asked her to offer up the most common carnal misconceptions -- and set us straight.
Ten Famous Sex Myths, Debunked
Women only like bad boys and have to be cajoled into being in the mood, right? Ha! We consulted with Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of "The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex" and got the truth about 10 other crazy-pants sex myths.
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Myth: Women have to be in a relationship to enjoy sex.
The Truth: Your orgasm potential has nothing to do with whether you're single or committed. Having great sex has to do with physical sensations, not your status. What's more, many women report having stronger orgasms when they masturbate than they do with a partner.
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Myth: Women don't (and shouldn't!) masturbate as often as guys.
The Truth: Ha! There is absolutely no rule as to how much you should get yourself off. Do it is much as you'd like. In fact, the more you do it, the more you'll understand what it takes to reach climax and that can help you guide your guy when you're in bed together.
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Myth: Vaginal orgasms feel better than clitoral orgasms.
The Truth: There is no such thing as a better orgasm -- they're all pretty fantastic. They definitely feel different because they originate in different spots. Try experimenting and achieving the various types -- clitoral, vaginal, g-spot -- to see which you prefer.
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Myth: A woman should be able to orgasm during intercourse.
The Truth: Putting that kind of pressure on yourself may prevent you from having an orgasm at all. A lot of women are unable to reach their peak through straight penetration. Most need clitoral stimulation as well. So don't feel bad touching yourself, having your partner touch you, or even using a vibrator while he thrusts.
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Myth: Women don't get turned on by porn.
The Truth: There's no hard rule on this one. Some chicks like naughty flicks, others don't. If porn doesn't do the trick for you, try erotic literature. Lots of women prefer it because it allows them to use their imagination when picturing what's going on.
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Myth: Guys love lingerie.
The Truth: Many men just find lingerie complicated. Think about it, all those snaps and ribbons and straps are confusing and a pain in the ass to get off of you when he wants to get some. Most guys will tell you they much prefer a woman naked.
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Myth: If you're good in bed, you should be able to please anyone.
The Truth: Some people have instant in-bed chemistry, others have to work on it. That means, you could sleep with 10 guys and they would all have a different opinion of your skills. (And you of theirs!) Communication is key to being able to have good sex with someone. Tell him what you like and don't like, and ask him to do the same. If you're too shy to say it, show him by guiding his hands.
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Myth: Men prefer women who pursue them sexually.
The Truth: Evolution tells us the exact opposite. Most men like to feel like they've worked for a women's attention. However, that doesn't mean that you have to sit in the corner and wait for a man to approach you. Go ahead and signal to a guy that you're interested by flirting. Just avoid things like grabbing his crotch in a crowded bar.
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Myth: Happy couples always have good sex.
The Truth: No one always hits a homer in the bedroom. You could be in the best relationship and have an off night if one of you isn't feeling well or is stressed. If you are always having bad sex, it may be a bigger problem. If this is the case, discuss what you both need in bed to enjoy yourselves more
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Thursday 05 March
By Keith
Who is this person and WHERE did she do her research. Guys don't like lingerie? BULL. Lingerie is FOR guys. Granted, there are exceptions, but c'mon, to say it so blatantly. I buy lingerie for my lady all the time. We take time to pick out the outfits together. My Victoria Secret and Frederick's of Hollywood bill is as common as the electric bill. A woman in lingerie? S-E-X-Y.
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Thursday 05 March
By Traci
ok i'm amused by the comments :) i think most of the "article" is bull and most of that stuff just differs person to person and maybe even relationship to relationship. my hubby gets turned on no matter what i'm wearing. he likes to pick out sexy stuff occasionally from V.S. so i can surprise him when i wear it but he's just as turned on when im in jeans and t-shirt. to be honest theres times i would swear i look a mess because its the end of a long day and that does not stop him. what turns on a man is all in the guy
o about the part of it being too complicated for your man hell if thats the case strip for him. it doesn't have to done fancy for him to enjoy watching.
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Friday 06 March
By lwayf
research has proven that black men on the average are larger.
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Tuesday 10 March
By 19 and not stupid
this artical is stupid ....it doesn't matter what you wear or do if some one loves or cares about you ...it doesn't mater to them what ever you do is sexy in the eyes of some one who cares about you .....!
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Wednesday 11 March
By Anonymous
See you stupid people who think that races have small or large penises should stop stereotyping. Read the bottom for review. I hate people who do that and say oh yeah this race has a much bigger one or smaller one then the other one. Can get annoying.
The Truth: Sorry, but there's no evidence to support this one. A study from the Porterback Clinic and Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield and St. James' Hospital in Leeds, United Kingdom, found that the size of a man's package has absolutely nothing to do with his race.
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Tuesday 10 March
By Vopat
As a man I can say that I hate lingerie! The less the better
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Saturday 14 March
By Natha
i am not even going to read this stuff but i can say this. who care about sex. sex should be with a man and a women and nothing els. and it should not be talked about as freely as people do. i am 23 years of age and i am smarter the the hole world. i dont need to read spell or even do math to see the truth. the world is going down hill and if it dont stop you all will get whats comeing to you. i am sure the gods or who ever created us is thinking of a reset. just like when you get your computer reformated. i am sure the god that created us could do the same at any time so just keep it up people keep talking about sex and how to have sex but i can promis you this you will regret it and i dont go out side anymore why dont i go out side you ask becaus i am sarounded by dumb sick people who only think about sex and money will let me tell you sex money nothing should matter people should be less greedy and help eachother more if someone game me 40mill right now do you know what i would do with it. i would give every single penny a way and keep i dont know 2 mill so i can get a house and start a family the world sucks people suck in it and the day a meator hits will be the happyist day of my life goodbye you sick fucks
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Saturday 14 March
By WhoCares
I agree with just about everyone else who has posted here. The person that wrote this piece, it seems to me, is only trying to get a rise of of people. Looks like it worked too. My man also loves it when I wear lingerie. Though the thought is rather funny. I would prefer not to see more writings like this. this one is just funny. I am very self-conscious about my body. while I am far from over weight, I am not as skinny as I used to be since I am 25 and have four kids (my oldest is 8 yrs old). I love the fact that I can put on my lingerie and know that I drive him crazy with it. When we pass it in the store some times, he will ask me, "Babe, would you wear that?" Or he'll say, "I'd love to see you in that." I think the point behind the whole thing is that a woman does not have to be a 'whore' or look like one to get a man or to have a great sex life with her man.
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Saturday 14 March
By cassandra
This article has no scientific basis. It's actually surprising that this was written by a female. There is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. None. Nada. Doesn't exist. Clitoral orgasms, while they can sometimes be achieved THROUGH vaginal stimulation, are all there is. I really thought people understood this by now! VAGINAL ORGASMS DON'T EXIST.
Vaginal-stimulation based orgasms happen (for some women) because of G-spot stimulation. The G-spot is the cluster of nerves in a woman which, in a man, become the prostate gland. Some men can also orgasm from prostate stimulation, but we don't have a set of standards for men suggesting that prostate orgasms are somehow preferable or "normal" or "mature."
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Saturday 14 March
By Zach
This is all MY opinion, and my experience. if you dont agree with it, i dont care, but id like to know how many guys agree with this instead of the article.
Everyone's bashing the "fact" that guys don't like lingerie. I agree, i fucking love lingerie, unwrapping, being creative, whoever wrote this doesn't know what she's talking about. And if she doesn't know what a guy likes, then its not her place to be telling people what the fuck to do in bed, or out of it, in reference to sex.
Also, the first one? the bad guy good guy thing? nuh uh. Im a singer. A hardcore heavy metal singer. Ive got a fantastic body and a nice voice and confidence pretty much melts right off me. And im conceited, and not to show it, but believe me, half the time or more, the attitude plays into it. A lot. The 'bad boy's' generally get the girl.
While I don't mind having a little bit of pursuit and seeing who i can get, (as long as she's not a slut) i really would rather have a girl put a little effort into getting with me, long term or short. It saves some effort, builds confidence, and plus, guys don't like to think all that much. And i think, a lot. IN fact, my longest relationship was with a girl who practically threw herself at me, coincidentally she was also the best in bed out of anyone, however, that did not have anything to do with our relationship. The idea that love/relationships dont have a lot to do with sex is something i mildly agree on. If youre banging someone for a long time, its a guarantee that youre going to find out what they like, but, sometimes it just takes a little creativity on the first date to have some amazing sex.
anyway, i still think whoever wrote this was probably a hypocritical feminist, not wanting to wear lingerie, but still wanting the guy to do most of the work in getting the girl.
love Zach.
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Saturday 14 March
By tkdoubleeagle
You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig. It's not the undies for me, even though it's nice. It is the the fact that you are expressing the desire to please and want sex and that is the turn on. The undies really don't matter. In fact, most women don't have the body to look good in them anyways. Sorry but that's the way it is.
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Saturday 14 March
By kinney
lingerie looks nice, but the micro snaps are bothersome for both sexes.
i kind of dont like the idea that you dont have to be in a relationship to enjoy sex, that sex is all about physical sensations. the greatest sex obviously comes from your emotional connection to the person youre with, it can also be great as just a sport with a random partner but your heart will feel empty afterwards. give me a break. sorry if you dont know what that's like! go on a date and stop randomly screwing people and give your heart a chance to feel something deeper than someone's genitals!
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Saturday 14 March
By iamwhitedawg
that was the stupidest waste of 3 minutes of my life? you need to tell me what turns me on/off. stuff like this is a waste of tax $$ along with time consumption. this is just stupid.
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Sunday 15 March
By ThisGuy
I've been trying to get into my girls pants for about two months and she still doesn't want it. And when I touch her she regrets it afterwards thinking we've gone too far, even though we've been dating for a little more then five months now. I really want her but I don't want to lose her. I feel if I don't get it I'll snap. And no, jacking off isn't good enough. It's just not the same. I want to get close to her, it's not just the sex I just want to be closer to her.
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Sunday 15 March
By Anoni
It seems as though many people have not received proper sex education. There’s more to it then penis in vagina. I highly recommend such course. As a matter of fact, I am a student currently enrolled in her sexuality class. I don’t appreciate the some of the comments written about my professor just because your experiences do not match her research. With research, are statistics. Men may like lingerie, but just because everyone you know loves lingerie on women, does not mean a thing. You have to look at the bigger picture. You have to see that people are surveyed from different locations, are of diff. races, and socioeconomic status.
And to judge someone based on their grammatical errors because you have nothing better to say? Please.. Don’t even leave a comment in the first place. Get over it.
I also observed a whole lot of stereotypical comments. As Americans we need to work on this.
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Sunday 15 March
By Kyle B
Sex ? What the heck is that ? My wife died over 1 1/2 yrs. ago at the young age of 28 and i haven`t been able to find any suitable women to date here in PA. I long to find a suitable partner, as I`m well aware of what it takes to make them happy. I`ve been on dating sites, chat rooms, even asked women when I`m out at times. Seems to me they all want to do the act with whom they please & when they please in this no. 2 retirement state ! Plus I have my 5 yr. old son to raise properly, .....I need a miracle. Kyledddc
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Thursday 19 March
By Kristen
LOL. Why is everyone making such a big deal about which race has the bigger penis??????? LMAO. Who cares? Is that the only so-called accomplishment?
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Friday 20 March
By judsond
As for the penis size myth... do you think that comes from the Bible? Ezekiel 23:19, 20 speaks of Israel; "... she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission (ejaculation) was like that of horses." Typically, Egyptians have been regarded as black men.
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Wednesday 29 April
By Wong
Egyptians were not black sigh.
Nubian slaves were
as were invadeing nubians , the "ancient" egyptians the pyramid builders...were not black
later as Egypt went down the tubes ?
maybe