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Wouldn't it be nice if there was some secret formula to ensuring a happy, healthy marriage and preventing the dreaded seven-year itch? Well, it's no secret anymore, but researchers for the British wedding-planning Web site confetti.co.uk have discovered the "vital ingredients" for lasting love. They surveyed 3,000 married people and discovered some common traits in happy couples:
- Marrying after three-and-a-half years of courtship
- Walking the aisle at age 31 for the groom and age 29 for the bride
- Keeping the spark alive with three calls, e-mails or texts during each workday
- Saying the L-word at least once a day
Click here for more tips and traits.
10 Outrageous Theme Weddings
Football Wedding This couple was married at the Cincinnati Bengals' Paul Brown Stadium. No word on whether the bride wore a sports bra.
Hello Kitty Wedding Never moved past your Hello Kitty pencil case? You can pay to have two giant creatures escort you down the aisle, like this couple.
jennfc.com
Star Wars Wedding We hope Yoda presided over this wedding ("Take the bride, do you?"). The London Telegraph reports on one such union where a Princess Leia was the ring bearer, clad in the infamous gold bikini.
klobtime, Flickr
Biker Wedding Why leave your Harley at home for the big day when you can ride down the aisle in style? This couple takes leather to the altar and shows their guests exactly how to ride off in to the sunset, without chafing.
Mad Man Dan / FaithRiders
WWII Wedding Time to party like it's 1942? All 100 guests at this wedding got into theme, donning fur wraps, berets and caps adorned with feathers. For authenticity they piped in the sound of sirens and Lancaster bombers flying overhead.
Hartlepool Mail
Zombie Wedding If the undead get married, then it really is a union that will last forever. To make it authentic you could even get carried in a coffin to the altar. Consider eating beforehand if you don't like brains.
wedlog.com
Disney Princess Wedding For your Cinderella day, you can buy a gown from the official Disney fashion line, or have your wedding at the actual theme park for 10 grand and up. Next up: "Lion King" groomsmen!?
bridezilla.com
Gangster Wedding Bonnie and Clyde made being a gangster romantic and now you can too with some vintage duds and smart pinstripes.
thebreadline, Flickr
Renaissance Wedding Grab your lute and mount your trusty steed! If you're donning a garter, run swiftly. One rather aggressive medieval tradition called for guests to grab a piece of the garment by any means necessary.
youandyourwedding.com
Lord of the Rings Wedding "One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." Take your "precious" to the altar and recite lines straight from Tolkien's classic as the vows. These LOTR superfans earn bonus points for their Minas Tirith cake.
Sarah and Patrick Needham
- Waiting two years and two months before starting a family
- Taking two romantic meals out each month
- Doing the deed three times per week
- Kissing four times per day
- Spending three nights per week cuddling on the sofa
- Allowing for two separate nights out with friends per month
- Taking two weekends away per year
Obviously having sex three times a week and kissing four times a day is good for your bond, but does it really matter how long you wait or how old you are when you tie the knot?
Tell us: Does the happy marriage math add up for you?
Spinsters We Love
Clara Barton
Clara Barton may have started the Red Cross, but she never started her own family. Although she did have her fair share of suitors and proposals, no guy ever made the cut. According to her nephew, "...she could think of herself with satisfaction as a wife and mother, but that on the whole she felt that she had been more useful to the world by being free from matrimonial lies."
Getty Images
Coco Chanel
Mention Chanel to any woman, and all of us dream of those quilted leather purses donning the iconic pair of Cs or the distinct scent dubbed No. 5. With all the glitz and glam, you'd think that Coco Chanel has a history of failed marriages but not at all the case. Although she was close to marrying the Duke of Westminster, she broke the engagement after seeing how much her own fortune was growing. "There are a lot of duchesses, but only One Coco Chanel," she explained bluntly.
Getty Images
Elizabeth Blackwell
Breaking barriers by being the first woman to graduate from medical school, Elizabeth Blackwell was a woman of many honors. But with all her work educating women in medicine, Blackwell decided not to marry. She did start a family and adopted an orphan who became her companion into Blackwell's older years.
Getty Images
Emily Dickinson
Known for her heartfelt and passionate poems, Emily Dickinson lived out her love in her words. After her father broke up a secret affair she had with a reverend, the heartbroken Dickinson ended up living the rest of her spinster days in her dad's mansion for the rest of her life.
Getty Images
Florence Nightingale
Known for pushing the nursing movement, Florence Nightingale has been praised for her compassion and willingness to help others. Being quite religious, she believed that God had a plan for her -- "to be a single woman." In 1844, she refused a marriage proposal from her cousin -- let's just hope that was a very distant one.
Getty Images
Harriet Martineau
This writer decided to write about marriage instead of heading into one herself. Known as an iconic liberal thinker, her writing and philosophies have lived on longer than any marriage she could have had. And we think she's completely satisfied with that.
Getty Images
Helen Keller
One of Helen Keller's dreams was to be married. Unfortunately, she didn't think it would ever happen and even said, "I can't imagine a man wanting to marry me." Although she did fall in love once, she ended up spending the rest of her days doing good deeds but still living the single life.
Getty Images
Jane Addams
Famed for her social work, Jane Addams (founder of Hull House) was never married. However many historians say she didn't really live the single life as she has been linked to Hull House co-founder Ellen Gates Starr and Chicago heiress Mary Rozet Smith. Deemed as lifelong friendships, some have questioned if the reason she never took a trip down the aisle was because she loved women.
Getty Images
Jane Austen
Jane Austen once said, "Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance."
However unlike Emma and Elizabeth Bennet, Jane Austen never made it down the aisle herself.
Getty Images
Joan of Arc
Following God's calling, Joan of Arc vowed to be celibate at 13. And despite her father's wish to see his daughter marry, she turned down a proposal when she was 16. But she fulfilled her promise and didn't have to keep it too long since she was burned at the stake at 19 -- making her one of the youngest spinsters in history.
Getty Images
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Wednesday 04 March
By Caruso
Seems like in many marriages the woman spends most of her time trying to change the man into what she really wanted in the first place, and conversly, it seems that the man spends a great deal of his time hoping, and trying to keep the woman just as she was (or his image of what or whom she was) when they first met. Of course neither of these things work, which likely explains why the divorce rate is perennially so high. At least one of many
"secrets" to a long lasting, and hopefully semi-stress free marriage, is being able to live with the idea that the other person should be able to be themselves, even if they are not just as they were when you both said, "I do". If here's no room for individuality and personal development of one's own personality, then there's probably not going to be much room left for love, and personal happiness.
Getting married "too young" also sems to be a low odds situation...mainly because the people involved have not yet fully developed their adult personal identities.
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Tuesday 03 March
By rod Layman
True real love, not Hollywood sex love ect. comes from a Loving God our loving father God the almighty one true God the only wise God the only creator is love, the only way to give real love away is to receive Gods love threw his great sacrafice of his son Jesus,once we receive his free gift of his love we come back into communion with God our creator, as Adam walked with God in the Garden we can to each day of our life, Listen Then and only then will you be able to give the real love to your mate, The more we know God and spend time with God our loving father ,only then will we can give that love away. we recieve downloads of his love when we are with him and read his supernatural love letter to mankind.,Called the Bible. The only manual for life.The glue for a healthy marriage is to receive his love and then give it away to all we meet.
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Tuesday 03 March
By Pattynjay554
Good Luck Chelsea. Go into the relationship eyes wide open. Know that a huge portion of those who marry at your age fail. And most felt as you feel now. Know that. But knowing that, if you work hard, and you put the other person first AND they put you first, AND you two communicate AND remember not to be selfish YOU CAN make it. My Aunt was 16 when she married and she and my uncle just celebrated their 65th. My wife and I are 'short timers' at 21. And like I said, good luck to you!
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Tuesday 03 March
By mrsce
I have been married for only 6 years (almost 7) and my marriage is wonderful! My husband and I made a long distant relationship work with the birth of our first child prior to tying the knot and we can both say the past 6 years has been fairly easy. We courted (dated, whatever you want to call it) for 3.5 years before we said "I Do" and we survived a surprise pregnancy in the earliest years of college (of which we DID NOT live together, we lived 250 miles apart). I credit so much of our happiness to premarital counseling (yes we went through 6 months of premarital counseling even though we had been "together" for 3.5 years). We learned a great deal about one another and the things that we value, such as making a budget together taught us what was really important to us financially, and we discussed in great length how many more children we wanted and what sorts of things we would be willing to compromise on. Overall, I believe our marriage is strong and happy because we value our word and our vows were promises, We asked our 300+ guests to hold us accountable for what we said on our wedding day. Yes there are lots of days when you wake up and wonder why you chose this man/woman, but when you make yourself say "I love you" and you make yourself physically touch that person (even intertwining fingers) the memories of what makes that person so special to you come back. I don't believe in everyone waiting 3 years before they get married but premarital counseling is a great way to KNOW that person (even if you have lived with them for several years). You must KNOW without a doubt what you are getting in for before doing it, and educate yourself. Afterall, you wouldn't buy the prettiest car on the lot without doing your research, why would you promise to be faithful to 1 person forever without doing a little digging?
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Tuesday 03 March
By Tracy
First off it doesnt matter how long you have been with or how short of time you have been with. Me and My husband met in Jun 01 and married in oct 01 and we are still going strong we will be together 7 yrs this oct. The key is to a) have time to your self b) alway complement each other (weather it be looks or clean house or taken care of kids or fixing the sink. etc) c) do things together go to a movie or out to dinner or on a mini vacation. if you have kids include them but its always nice to have you and your partner do things together.
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Tuesday 03 March
By Sara
Trust...is the best...love is wonderful, how many love each other ? No matter who is in the room..make sure she is the one you focus on...and vice-versa...
If you put him first...he won't stray....kindness at all times...always say you're sorry if the situation should present itself....be a touchy feely person..do you realize how many men can't show affection only during the sex act......and can't hug their children...GOOD LUCK...YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT !
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Tuesday 03 March
By Ina R
I cme up in a wrng wy but I always heard mom pray whatever happen don't let me go against my babies meaning her children now as marriage I met my spouse @ a bus stop w bad news 7-29-02 had no Idea we would talk nor that he was dating me I just did not know he ask me to marry him 10-27-02-married 10-28-02 been marry almost seven years & it has not been easy see I know nothing of him personally & I'm the third wife. I told him all about me. first x being mrry.& last Love is the cover of all life consistence whatever u do get 2 know the person their good, their bad, & what they want 4 themselve & what u want,& remeber when u marry u R no longer one, +one equal 2 u R 1 together only! u will learn your true friends & whose not by what they bring into u both life.marriage is forever & so is friendship true.Of course always talk always award each other love on one another never stop respecting each other do things together etc. look @ the negativty avoid it with a smile in heart get to know God Jesus The Holy Spirit read eveyday gods love chapter in the Bible God Bless you both always Ina take a 10 minute talk daily 2c h yours day was good night
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Tuesday 03 March
By sassy
Marriage and Love...anyone can marry...at any age...young ,middle,even old.,..age...however now when it comes to love...when you are with someone that it hurts so bad to think of being away...to the point of tears,when you know it hurts...its love...cause it dosent come easy or without a price..life isnt a fairy tale.there will be ups and downs,dislikes and missunderstandings.love isnt about changing someone its accepting someone and growing with them not grow apart.its when times get bad then you see who stands by your side,when your hurting they feel your pain,they see in your eyes your thoughts and know what you thinking before you say a word.i could go on and on but thing is this...if someone isnt ready to go the distance and by your side ...you wasting your time and heartach.i wish all a happy life with that love you claim,i know i have,
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Tuesday 03 March
By Sue
Thank you so much for those words you wrote. It made my decission to end my relationship with married man i've been seeing. Was have that type of love you mentioned. And i can't bare any more pain. He needs to work on his marriage. I can no longer be his "crutch" .
Thank you.. Thank you...
Tuesday 03 March
By Louise
The danger of marying young is that we are usually very different people at 35 than we were at 20. IF you concentrate on growing and developing together, then it could work. Otherwise, it's better to wait until you become who you will be for the rest of your life before you chosse whom you want to be with for all that time.
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Tuesday 03 March
By louise
i guess it helps if your husband isn't a mommy baby
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Sunday 22 March
By Mia
I love the comments people have written so far.
My background info is that I'm 15 but DON'T worry. I'm not married and I haven't even ever had a boyfriend.
I've dreamed my whole life (pretty short so far) to have a marriage like Tracie was talking about. I'm like the girls from Bride Wars if anyones seen it.
Anyway I think marrying your high school sweetheart is so romantic...I hope that happens to me...
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Tuesday 03 March
By Rori Raye
The kissing and sex are crucial - but, as Erica Jong discovered - it's not all there is. Companionship is cool, too - and most of us don't even discover that for a long time. While we're focused on the romance, we forget about building the relationship deeper and deeper, so it has a life of its own that can sustain us over rough patches. I loved the 3 nights a week cuddling on the couch - what a nice thing to say about most of us! Thank you, Rori Raye
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Tuesday 03 March
By Cindee
I agree no secert. No set age, no plan either. I started dating my husband at 17. Got engaged at 18. Had a baby before I got married so we put off the marriage for 2 years. Then we married and have been together ever since. All I can say about marriage is that it takes work and it takes compromise, respect and maturity. Love to me is all that together and more. Alot of people not ALL just don't want to work at it and watch too many romantic movies. lol My husband and I have more than love and more than a marriage we have a partnership. I think time framing it is funny.
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Tuesday 03 March
By Gary
Marriage takes two loyal comitted people that believe in staying the course no matter how bad it gets...many people enter marriage with the thought that "oh well if it doesnt work I can always get a divorce" now thats a recipe for guaranteed D. Think about the traditional vows and if you cant take them seriously then dont get married...."Love Honor and Cherish in sickness and in health for better for worse until Death do us part"
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Tuesday 03 March
By KMS
On 9-9-09 we will be married 37 yrs. Jr High sweethearts and still going strong. First child came 7yrs after we got married, second came three years after that. We have been through good time and some pretty bad ones and one was tragic but we keep on ticking. I joke now that we survived based on the "open door" policy; you don't like it, there's the door, LOL....
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Tuesday 03 March
By jen
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we love eachother very much. I am 21 and he is 23. I am already a RN (nurse) but I am still in school to get my BSN, and he will be done with school in a couple months. We both share the same christian faith, and have several of the same friends. We met through an officer training program (Air Force). I love his parents and my parents really love him. I know that we are young, but I feel like we have set a good future for us already. We got school out of the way... thank GOD! We are set to be officers in the military which is the only thing I really worry about. I will be a nurse, and he a pilot. Does anyone have any advice for us? Anyone who has been in a similar situation? Thanks!!!
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Tuesday 03 March
By Pete
you all are absolutely right - a lasting marriage is when the 2 people feel about eachother now as they did when they got married or more
I love my wife each and everyday and I cherish everyone of them
A good marriage is a happy one with open communication and compromise
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Tuesday 03 March
By Marc
Numbers DO matter. Not saying that every case is the same but cmon! Would you count on winning the lottery to fund your kids college? NO. But then again, there is one in a million chance you will win big. Same with marriage. Some with odd numbers do work for sure, but they are a lot more rare. I'm betting that only those with good stories are talking here. Getting engaged at 16 or 17 sure does work...even more so years ago. The fact is that its natural for people to change a lot in their late teens and 20's. You may fall in love with your HS sweetheart, but you are usually both different people 10 years later. If you stay the same, then great. This article mearly says that these numbers produce the most secure marriages and I believe that. Statistics are facts...they dont lie. I'm happy for those who succeeded after starting with things not in their favor though. I got married at 38 and my wife was 29. Will it last? Who knows. Live for today but dont think staying together forever makes you successful. Its a choice you both make whether the union is good or bad.
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Tuesday 03 March
By TOM
THE KEY TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE LADIES IS THIS:
NEVER EVER AND I MEAN NEVER NEVER EVER, EVER NEVER NEVER
YELL AT YOUR HUSBAND.
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