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Wouldn't it be nice if there was some secret formula to ensuring a happy, healthy marriage and preventing the dreaded seven-year itch? Well, it's no secret anymore, but researchers for the British wedding-planning Web site confetti.co.uk have discovered the "vital ingredients" for lasting love. They surveyed 3,000 married people and discovered some common traits in happy couples:
- Marrying after three-and-a-half years of courtship
- Walking the aisle at age 31 for the groom and age 29 for the bride
- Keeping the spark alive with three calls, e-mails or texts during each workday
- Saying the L-word at least once a day
Click here for more tips and traits.
10 Outrageous Theme Weddings
Football Wedding This couple was married at the Cincinnati Bengals' Paul Brown Stadium. No word on whether the bride wore a sports bra.
Hello Kitty Wedding Never moved past your Hello Kitty pencil case? You can pay to have two giant creatures escort you down the aisle, like this couple.
jennfc.com
Star Wars Wedding We hope Yoda presided over this wedding ("Take the bride, do you?"). The London Telegraph reports on one such union where a Princess Leia was the ring bearer, clad in the infamous gold bikini.
klobtime, Flickr
Biker Wedding Why leave your Harley at home for the big day when you can ride down the aisle in style? This couple takes leather to the altar and shows their guests exactly how to ride off in to the sunset, without chafing.
Mad Man Dan / FaithRiders
WWII Wedding Time to party like it's 1942? All 100 guests at this wedding got into theme, donning fur wraps, berets and caps adorned with feathers. For authenticity they piped in the sound of sirens and Lancaster bombers flying overhead.
Hartlepool Mail
Zombie Wedding If the undead get married, then it really is a union that will last forever. To make it authentic you could even get carried in a coffin to the altar. Consider eating beforehand if you don't like brains.
wedlog.com
Disney Princess Wedding For your Cinderella day, you can buy a gown from the official Disney fashion line, or have your wedding at the actual theme park for 10 grand and up. Next up: "Lion King" groomsmen!?
bridezilla.com
Gangster Wedding Bonnie and Clyde made being a gangster romantic and now you can too with some vintage duds and smart pinstripes.
thebreadline, Flickr
Renaissance Wedding Grab your lute and mount your trusty steed! If you're donning a garter, run swiftly. One rather aggressive medieval tradition called for guests to grab a piece of the garment by any means necessary.
youandyourwedding.com
Lord of the Rings Wedding "One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." Take your "precious" to the altar and recite lines straight from Tolkien's classic as the vows. These LOTR superfans earn bonus points for their Minas Tirith cake.
Sarah and Patrick Needham
- Waiting two years and two months before starting a family
- Taking two romantic meals out each month
- Doing the deed three times per week
- Kissing four times per day
- Spending three nights per week cuddling on the sofa
- Allowing for two separate nights out with friends per month
- Taking two weekends away per year
Obviously having sex three times a week and kissing four times a day is good for your bond, but does it really matter how long you wait or how old you are when you tie the knot?
Tell us: Does the happy marriage math add up for you?
Spinsters We Love
Clara Barton
Clara Barton may have started the Red Cross, but she never started her own family. Although she did have her fair share of suitors and proposals, no guy ever made the cut. According to her nephew, "...she could think of herself with satisfaction as a wife and mother, but that on the whole she felt that she had been more useful to the world by being free from matrimonial lies."
Getty Images
Coco Chanel
Mention Chanel to any woman, and all of us dream of those quilted leather purses donning the iconic pair of Cs or the distinct scent dubbed No. 5. With all the glitz and glam, you'd think that Coco Chanel has a history of failed marriages but not at all the case. Although she was close to marrying the Duke of Westminster, she broke the engagement after seeing how much her own fortune was growing. "There are a lot of duchesses, but only One Coco Chanel," she explained bluntly.
Getty Images
Elizabeth Blackwell
Breaking barriers by being the first woman to graduate from medical school, Elizabeth Blackwell was a woman of many honors. But with all her work educating women in medicine, Blackwell decided not to marry. She did start a family and adopted an orphan who became her companion into Blackwell's older years.
Getty Images
Emily Dickinson
Known for her heartfelt and passionate poems, Emily Dickinson lived out her love in her words. After her father broke up a secret affair she had with a reverend, the heartbroken Dickinson ended up living the rest of her spinster days in her dad's mansion for the rest of her life.
Getty Images
Florence Nightingale
Known for pushing the nursing movement, Florence Nightingale has been praised for her compassion and willingness to help others. Being quite religious, she believed that God had a plan for her -- "to be a single woman." In 1844, she refused a marriage proposal from her cousin -- let's just hope that was a very distant one.
Getty Images
Harriet Martineau
This writer decided to write about marriage instead of heading into one herself. Known as an iconic liberal thinker, her writing and philosophies have lived on longer than any marriage she could have had. And we think she's completely satisfied with that.
Getty Images
Helen Keller
One of Helen Keller's dreams was to be married. Unfortunately, she didn't think it would ever happen and even said, "I can't imagine a man wanting to marry me." Although she did fall in love once, she ended up spending the rest of her days doing good deeds but still living the single life.
Getty Images
Jane Addams
Famed for her social work, Jane Addams (founder of Hull House) was never married. However many historians say she didn't really live the single life as she has been linked to Hull House co-founder Ellen Gates Starr and Chicago heiress Mary Rozet Smith. Deemed as lifelong friendships, some have questioned if the reason she never took a trip down the aisle was because she loved women.
Getty Images
Jane Austen
Jane Austen once said, "Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance."
However unlike Emma and Elizabeth Bennet, Jane Austen never made it down the aisle herself.
Getty Images
Joan of Arc
Following God's calling, Joan of Arc vowed to be celibate at 13. And despite her father's wish to see his daughter marry, she turned down a proposal when she was 16. But she fulfilled her promise and didn't have to keep it too long since she was burned at the stake at 19 -- making her one of the youngest spinsters in history.
Getty Images
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Tuesday 03 March
By Tracie
There is no secret to a good marriage. Just love each other, no matter what. Be faithful and loyal to one another. Yes, kissing and sex are very important elements to marriage, but you should NEVER marry for sex. Sex is just a fringe benefit of being married, and it's fun to do.
My husband and I dated through Junior High, and High School, we dated for seven years, and were engaged for six months. We will be celebrating our 28th anniversary this June. We waited 3 and 1/2 years to have a baby, although we got pregnant after being married only one year, but we miscarried. We then spaced the birth of our other children by two years apart. I absoultely love my husband with every thing within me. We each others first REAL kiss. We were each other's first time having sex, we've never been with anyone else, and THAT makes for a good marriage, because you don't have all that past baggage in the midst of your relationship. We go through days when we are angry at one another, but we are so much alike that we have the same thoughts at the same exact time, then we laugh at each other. Being mad is not a good feeling, but making up is OH SO much fun. Kissing is good, just depends on where on the body he/she kisses you. Use your OWN imagination on THAT one. Happy marriages to all, and have a good day.
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Tuesday 03 March
By Angie
I just finished reading your comment it's a great piece of advice =0) !
Tuesday 03 March
By stillcrazyinLove
Well, I think that's great for YOU that neither of you have ever had sex with anyone else.BUT..that is not the norm.at least in California :)
I personally couldn't IMAGINE marrying anybody, having no experience with ANYone but that one man. But then..hey,what do I Know?
I married at age 17, had a son, my husband died shortly tehreafter.It was very very tragic for me, UNbelievable.NOT good. I married my current husband at age 35(both of us) He had one marriage at age 20 that ended in 6 months--it was his high school sweetheart--her first for everything. He said they were way too young, and he was not yet done "partyin", as he called it.
We both dated several people from age 21 to age 30, and I was engaged 3 separate times ,yes, to three different men,during those years. He had a couple relationships that lasted no mero than 2 years each, as did mine. (I met him when we were 27) We also met in a bar- shooting pool of all things. We were on again-off again from age 31-33 ish.but I think deep down we both always knew we would end up together for life and we have.We do not have a perfect marriage, we have NEVER had a perfect marriage. But we have a perfect LOVE for one another that has lasted for 22 years.We will celebrate our 20th anniversary on the 16th. Secret??? NONE.but love,tolerance, listening and TALKING things out surely help.Love changes, it is not the same as new love, romantic love, or the way we loved 10 or 15 years ago.But if you do things, nice things for one another along the way, and give each other space that everyone needs from time to time.....you both end up with way more than you could ever dream of.
Tuesday 03 March
By design838
Why did "Single Ladies We Love" become "Spinsters We Love" when you click on
the pictures. In modern everyday English, spinster cannot be used to mean simply 'unmarried woman', it is now always a derogatory term, referring or alluding to a stereotype of an older woman who is unmarried, childless, and repressed. Does sound very loving.
Tuesday 03 March
By Colin
Bless You Tracie!
Tuesday 03 March
By WILSONDONNA
FRIST OF ALL A MARRIAAGE IS WHAT A COUPLE MAKE OUT OF IT IF THE TWO WORK TOHGTER ON IT THE N IT WILL LAST A LFE TIME I HAVE BEN MARRIRED FOR 35 YEARS NOW AND WE ARE STILL IN MUCH LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER AS WE WERE WHEN WE SAID I DO. LOVE IS A WONDER THING TO HAVE WITH THE SAME PERSON . FOR OVER MUCH OF MY LIFE . MY HUSBAND WAS 25 WHEN WE FRISR MARRIRED AND I WAS ONLY EIGHT EEN AND WE HAVE MADE IT WORK CAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTER AND TELL ONE ANOTHER THAT WE LOVE THEM ALL THE TIME. DONNA WILSON
Tuesday 03 March
By Carrie
It's nice to see there are other HS Sweethearts out there still making it :) My high school sweetie and I also shared every first together and have never been with anyone else. Not only is it great not to have that baggage for myself, but it is great not to have to wonder about who he was with before me and comparisons and all of the other junk. Marriage just isn't what it was when we were growing up. You hear about starter marriages and all of this other garbage. It is a commitment before GOD. You want to know the secret to keeping it together??? Have a FAITH based marriage. Yes, be best friends and lovers, but keep God and his commandments in the center of your partnership. Does He approve of divorce? NO WAY!!! People become self-centered instead of Christ-centered. If it isn't exciting enough for you anymore, don't wait on your partner to fix it - YOU FIX IT. Get off your butt and re-establish that friendship, make love in the kitchen!!! Do whatever it takes. Because the next time around you'll eventually get bored again. Stick with your commitment. KEEP YOUR WORD. Life isn't just about sex!!!! It is Great, but it won't last forever. I love you Ben... you are my true soulmate and my best friend... the father of my children, the man who forever makes me feel like I am 16.
Tuesday 03 March
By Allison Carpenter
Hi Tracie, awesome story! My husband and I are quite similar to your story, only we are still very young. I am 24 and we have been married for 5 years and going on strong. I love being married and being a mom to our child. I only hope that our marriage will last as long as yours has.
I think what makes a relationship work is if its right. If its not right, you know it and feel it your heart. I have never once doubted my love for my husband, nor have I ever thought that he wasn't the right one for me. We do get in our little arguments, but over all we never have bad drama or anything crazy going on. We are 100 percent loyal to one another and love each other very much. one day I was taking to a coworker of his, and she said the first time my husband talked to her about me, she saw his eyes twinkle with so much love like she had never seen in her life. When he talks about me or talks to me, I can see it in every fiber of his being that he loves and adores me more than anything. Now imagine all that love coming together and creating a child! Our little girl is the sweetest most loving angel ever, and she is beautiful.
My husband and I are so connected that we can practically know what the other is thinking. I am very attuned to him and he to me. Sometimes he talks to me when I haven't said anything like he knows exactly what I'm thinking in my mind. It is awesome!
So I guess the secret to a happy marriage is marrying the right one and knowing without a doubt that it is 100 percent right!
Tuesday 03 March
By Ty
Thank you for ur thoughts and words.
Tuesday 03 March
By Carita Grimes
Thank You Tracie:) Although those are not my circumstances I can certainly understand how you have maintained a Happy Healthy marriage.
Tuesday 03 March
By Ruth
My husband and I have been married for 27 years, and amen to the above, sorry but you all can fuck around all you want but it doesnt get you anywhere but unhappy
Tuesday 03 March
By jenballerini4
I really appreciate your comment. I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years now. We began dating in high school and recently graduated from college and are getting settled in our careers. I see so many people around me marrying after only knowing someone for 6 months-less than a year and after investing so much time in my own relationship and really finally understanding how to grow with somebody, I feel ready to take that next step. I have always known he was the one for me, but I must admit that it's hard when people around you scold you for being with only one person for such a long time when you are so young. So I do really appreciate your comment because it's nice to hear someone talk so positively about building a lasting friendship and relationship with someone you truly love.
Sunday 08 March
By Peter Loderhose
I was so glad to here the "we" word. We have been married 42 years,4 kids, all married one time no divorces,10 g'kids,a bunch of "adopted" g'kids.
Being the first is a key, being best friends is another.
Tuesday 10 March
By Joey G.
Not trying to rebuke your story ( a good one), but those aren't the only conditions for a happy, prosperous marriage. I met my wife in a bar. I was 27, and she was 22. She had a history of being used by guys, and I had a history of drugs, sex, and rock-and-roll. Neither of us were truly happy... until we met. The following day (after the night she sat down beside me), she went back to college and told all of her friends that she had met the man she was going to marry. I didn't think it would work out, but she was determined, and I finally gave in. 3 months after meeting, I proposed. 3 months later, we were married. It was tough in the beginning, and we had a child one week before our 1st anniversary. A few years later, two more came along. We had "learned" each other, and were so much alike that we finished each other's sentences. We were deeply in love with each other, and faithful to the very end. Just a few months shy of our 25th anniversary, I gave her a kiss, and a couple of hours later, she had a heart attack... and died. My soul mate was gone. We had been looking forward to growing old together, but it wasn't meant to be. Anyway, true love doesn't come from a set of conditions, it just has to be unconditional.
Tuesday 03 March
By Tracey
UNBEWEAVABLE!!!!!!!!!
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Tuesday 03 March
By Tammy
The Key to marriage, (in my case) is Communication, love and trust! You have to not only believe in yourself you have to believe in each other. You have to be next to each other through the good times and the bad times. You have to have a strong bond and relationship as a family unit if you have children and hold nothing back from each other, especially when it comes to your children.
Do the numbers match, NO, I met my husband at a bar where I was a bartender, we knew each other for 4 month, he proposed on Christmas eve of 1990 and in Feb. of 1991 we were married. It has been 18 years this past month that we have been together and We have love each other just like the day we were married if not more.
Has it been easy, no, but with ever down there is an up and you just have to keep looking forward together.
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Tuesday 03 March
By Dfletch
My wife and I met in Aug. 1977, became engaged in November of that same year, married in April of 1978. We've been married 30 plus years! A healthy and happy marriage depends on the readiness and maturity of the two people involved!! Formula's don't work! Couples could duplicate each of the things listed in the article and if they're not mature enough or ready to commit themselves to marriage and all that it entails (good and bad) then it won't matter....
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Tuesday 03 March
By Alexis
Congratulations! You are lucky to have met your perfect match!
Wednesday 04 March
By Perla
Sir Dfletch,
Aug 1997 is when I was born, my husband and I are married 7 years now. I can't say we have a healthy and happy marriage and I really think we are not mature enough. There is not a formula. Every couple is different. Every individual is with different needs. I don't know when we are going to be matured enough. There have been so many mistakes. And when the love had been hurt, it's really hard to go on. I don't even know if there is a formula that works. I wish we are both matured tomorrow when we wake up.
Kind and gentle, are the two things I feel I need to work on. We have trust, loyalty, we have commitment to our marriage. We don't have the basics. Somehow when I look forward for the time being spend at the dinner table, I end up hurting because I can't show care, I can't share my day, I can't even let him feel I want to be there. I am sure than ever he is the one and only one. But for 7 years, we have not matured. Perla
Tuesday 03 March
By Redroses941@aol.com
After being married for almost 34 years, I can say its easy. Treat your partner as you would want to be treated.
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