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Thanks to ingenuity and hard work, we are one step closer to being able to communicate with cavemen (that is, if there were still cavemen around to chat with).

Researchers at the University of Reading in Britain have figured out what some of the oldest words in the English language are by evaluating the speed at which they evolve.

Using a computer model, evolutionary biologist Mark Pagel and his team found that the more a word is used, the slower it is to change. This makes words like "I" and "two" are pretty freaking old.

Not only can this model determine the oldest words in the language, it can also predict words that are going to disappear eventually.

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The Most Annoying Co-Workers

    Insistent Instant Messenger: No matter how much time or miscommunication could be spared by talking face-to-face, this person insists on talking virtually, via IM or email. If they're a superior and you're not online, they send you an email to ask where you are (meanwhile you're at your desk, ten feet away).

    Cycle Sister: This is a person you're not particularly fond of, but for whatever cosmically twisted reason, your daily routine is synched up -- you walk into work at the same time, and from there, you see your Cycle Sister in the bathroom, on your smoke break, at the vending machine, and on the way out. Even if you do like this person alright, the sheer coincidence makes things creepy and awkward.

    Mr. Flibble, Flickr

    The Get-a-Lifer: This person asks you out to post-work drinks on a regular basis, despite the fact that you always decline. And the one time you went to a party at their house, it ended up being the two of you playing Taboo. The Get-a-Lifer is often the same person who plans meetings at 6 p.m. on Fridays, not realizing that everyone else goes out with their friends on the weekend.

    bealluc, Flickr

    Listserv Leech: If someone has taken this person's lunch out of the fridge, the entire staff will be notified via the staff listserv, which everyone else uses exclusively for professional communication. Alternately, this person may use the listserv to let everyone know about the lack of toilet paper in the bathroom, a party they're throwing, or to ask who took that package off their desk.

    Angry Typist: The Angry Typist pounds on her keyboard with the vigor of someone hitting their ex-boyfriend. The violent clacking leads to many misunderstandings, as this person is often unaware of their problem and is not actually pissed.

    .faramarz, Flickr

    The Toilet Mouth: You're on the pot midstream (or worse) when the Toilet Mouth strikes up a conversation. This person also likes to chatter at the sink for before and after they go, giving no one in the bathroom privacy to do their business.

    Megan *, Flickr

    Monday Manic: The coffee hasn't hit your bloodstream yet, and the Monday Manic is flittering about, imbued with an unnatural amount of energy and optimism. They're telling stories about how freaking great their weekend was and so stoked about the work they get to do that day.

    Old News Hound: OMG, did you hear that Lindsay Lohan is dating a girl!? The Old News Hound is always the last to know about everything, but the first to belt out at a stale headline at full-volume to their surrounding coworkers.

    Rash Revealer:This person has no shame getting on the phone with their doctor, their spouse, their aunt, or their mom to discuss a rash, a yeast infection, and any other personal bodily defect or medical issue.

    maydaFUNKbewithu!, Flickr

    The Chit-Chat Blaster: If this person catches you in the break room or on your way out of the bathroom, you're done for a half an hour later they're still yammering away about the paint samples they're considering for the livingroom, the deli they ate at for lunch, the meeting the boss called earlier, the diet they're on. The Chit-Chat Blaster also doesn't notice you inching away, and generally lack the ability to pick up social cues.




There could be a time when words like "squeeze," "stab" and "dirty" become extinct. (The more the meaning of a word shifts through time, the more likely it is to go the way of the dodo.)

Now that we've got the phrasebook to speak with folks from the Flintstone era, when will these scientists come up with a time machine so we can actually use it?


Irritating Phrases: Reader Pet Peeves

    from user "Rex": Put me down for the most meaningless phrase in the English language.That being By and large.I have no idea what that means.

    NBC

    from user "lois": "I am from the old school and am irritated by the use of awesome."

    Everett Collection

    User "williamdaley" : I hate hearing basically. Basically, that word is over used.

    Fox

    User "lester": I swear if you took the phrase you know out of the english language 80 of the people in this country wouldnt be able to carry on a conversation.

    Getty Images

    user "Arnie": By far, the worst is any variation on what's up?

    Getty Images

    user "Skeeter": my daughter uses is whatever. Even though she's forty, every time she opens her mouth and utters that word I want to wash her mouth out with soap.

    foam, Flickr

    user "Allison": Not!

    Getty Images

    user "meledstick": I'm "reaching out" but "can't get my arms around" "sharing" "at the end of the day", but I guess it's just my bad.

    shira golding, Flickr

    user "Mike W".: LIKE, every third word in a sentence.

    Paramount

    user "JB": Living in the NYC area I also hate this little gem: How you doing?

    Getty Images