Perhaps the most historically necessary white lie in the world is "faking." If you're like 75% of American women, you're guilty of this little in-bed untruth. Unless you are incredibly lucky or have found that special guy, women fake it. It's harmless, right? You put on some "When Harry Met Sally"-quality theatrics and your man is none the wiser, with his ego intact.
Here's the problem: After you have faked an orgasm once, you often have to keep faking. And since the guy thinks he's found a technique that works, he'll keep doing it -- and you can't really blame him since he thinks you love it. So if you want to stay with him (and actually climax now and then), you've gotta let him know.
Or you could also just try something fun until you have a real one, and hope he sticks to that habit.
Click here to read how four ladies owned up to the big charade.
The Redirect
"I had been dating this guy for about three months, and I was really falling for him. The problem was, I could never orgasm with him. The first time we had sex he was like a jackhammer, and I majorly faked. I have no idea where he picked up his technique, but it was terrible.
"Every time after that, I had to fake. I finally just had to tell him the truth. To ease the way, I bought some really sexy lingerie and a few toys and gently broke him the news. He got quiet for a minute but once I initiated some fun, he was ready to try again and willing to take direction, too!"
- Becky, St. Louis
The Possum
"Me and my longtime boyfriend had great sex at the beginning of our relationship, and then things just kind of died. I started faking and it was terrible. And he would say things like, 'I still got it!' It made me cringe. I was actually losing interest because I felt like I was looking down a long road of never having an orgasm again.
"One day I decided I just wouldn't fake. I laid there totally still and silent, and finally he asked me what was wrong. I told him, and he seemed a little mad but was more embarrassed than anything. He went into the bathroom for over an hour and when he came out he was ready to go at it. We've been a lot more open since then and our sex life is back on track!"
- Megan, Chicago
The Revenge Reveal
"I always had a really hard time finishing and I would continually fake with almost every guy I was with. I pretty much figured I was just fated to always fake.
"After my last relationship where the guy turned out to be a real jerk, I told him I had been faking all along. He ended up breaking into my e-mail and sending out a mass message to all my contacts filling them in on my faking ways. I was mortified!"
- Amy, Omaha, Neb.
The Honesty Approach
"Ever since I started having sex when I was in my late teens, I felt like faking was par for the course. With few exceptions, I found myself faking on a regular basis. It was tedious and annoying. After a few months of dating a guy I really liked, I decided I would stop selling a false bill of goods and just tell the truth.
"Bad idea! He got up and left and never called me again! Now I am with a great guy who I was very open with from the beginning. We make sure to always try different things and communicate. It seems to be working!"
- Liz, Kansas City, Mo.
Tell us! Do you ever fake? Have you ever confessed to a guy that your big O was BS?












Comments:
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Tuesday 10 March
By Bat-Mite
A woman who feels the need to fake it deserves to never have an orgasm ever again. If you can't show a dude how to get you off you have no right to complain about the guy's performance ever. Seeing as your a liar anyway what gives you the right to judge how someone did if you directed them poorly.You probably just shouldn't be having sex at all since not only are you a liar but bad at direction giving as well Which makes you almost worthless, oh wait your a woman of course your almost useless! Zing!
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Wednesday 11 March
By Ms. Fiesty
This is in response to your recent latest comments. I hope I speak for all females when I say your a fagget ass piece of shit. :) To disrespect women because they have problems in bed makes me sick. It isn't that women are lying is that they don't want to hurt men's egos. And based on the evidence of the way you talk about women, I'm gonna say that you've had a lot of females fake orgasims with you because your ego is probably a lot bigger than your dick. See when Men love women they do what they can to make them feel as best as they can. Same goes for females, but a Godless man such as yourself doesn't know love and relationships because you can't even accomplish a relationship with the one person who does love you. God! You probably drink and don't find being sober fun because reality hits you that your empty and no one loves you and you reject the only person who does love you. Which would be god. Further more after drinking you probably get liquor dick and can't get your dick up, or if you do accomplish liquior dick then youprobably can't function that tiny lil weiner between your legs. So women fake orgasims with your fagget ass. Which makes your dumb ass think your the man. Which in return makes your ego a lot higher than it should be. Right? Am i hitting a soft spot yet. Sounds kinda right to me. So take your queer bate comments and shove them up your ass because from the sounds of how you disrespect women. I think your a fagget who refuses to be honest with yourself and come out of the closet which there fore makes you a lier. Not all men are pieces of shit liquior dick mongrals who disrespect women. And by the way you sound like your worthless. Probably didn't have a mother around in your life. So you blame God and disrespect women. Maybe she just seen that you were gonna be worthless creature. Who knows. Sry that no one in your life wants you if thats the case because if you did have a mother then she flat out sucked. What mother doesn't teach her children respect, love, God, or atleast one of those three things. If you do have a mother, Ic shes no more of a fucking mother than you are a man. See you later Queer Bate. Zing!
Wednesday 11 March
By Dan
I think women don't realize just how many men know when they're faking and don't even care. Why should they? They're getting what they want out of you, and the fact that you're still willing to scream and squeal purely for his satisfaction makes him feel even more dominant over you. He's using your body for his enjoyment, not giving an iota of care to your enjoyment, and not only are you such a slave to him that you continue to give him your body when he wants, but you even squeal like a porn star solely to heighten his level of enjoyment? I'll take a faker any day. If I'm in a relationship where the woman is that selfless and doesnt mind that I'm that selfish, well I guess it's her own fault men walk all over her.
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Wednesday 11 March
By kranny
You know how uncomfortable it is to stand perfectly still during a conversation (particularly when you haven't got pockets into which to stick your hands)? It's kind of like that in bed, too. It's awkward to lie there, particularly if your man is hard at work. The last thing my generous lover needs is to feel that he can't please me or to worry that I'm feeling resentful when in fact orgasm might have just slipped out of reach without it being his fault at all. Besides, I love to see him come (there is an energy transferred during orgasm that is wonderful even if I won't have one), and it excites him when I am participating (and occasionally sort of faking a finish).
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Wednesday 11 March
By Doug
You ladies shouldn't have to fake it. TELL YOUR MAN what you like...how you like it and come to a agreementbefore hand.
If you aren't in the mood and want to put out to appease him.... he shouldn't expect an orgasm from you and he should be in tune to that .
It is little lies like these that cause bigger fights and resentment later on down the road.
Personally....I take pride in getting a woman off and will not penetrate her until she does.
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Wednesday 11 March
By mtloweman
I think women who fake are shallow idiots and the men who get fooled are shallow too. The main deal is that men who know how to do oral sex will find that most women come easily. One women I knew would complain to me how I exhausted her with multiple orgasms. The woman i am with presently takes longer to come, but her orgasm is very strong. When she comes the contactions of her anus are easy to see and feel, and unmistakeable. One of the problems here is that women will chase after a guy for money or if he has great looks, find that he is a shallow idiot, with few sexual skills other than what he does with his Unit, and get mad at him because they cannot change his basic nature.
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Tuesday 14 July
By Chris
I'm sad to hear that women feel it necessary to fake orgasms. Someone who fakes their orgasm is only hurting themselves. No one should have to do that. If your partner is not doing it for you, then you need to talk to him and help him find a way for it to work for you or...you should find another partner. No really. Why should you live your whole life without quality sex? If sex is not that important to you, then I understand, but you are missing out on one of the most rewarding parts of a loving relationship.
I know older generations often married before having sex, but I don't recommend it, as that sets you and your partner up for a potential lifetime of bad sex. Sometimes, two people just don't connect that way. I think it is important to know your own body and sexual desires before getting married.
Cheers to lots of happiness, lots of good health and lots of healthy sex!
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Tuesday 13 October
By mi
I'm in deep trouble about this one.
I've been with my guy for 3 years He's the first guy I've ever had sex with. He's handsome, sweet, very sexy, so gentlemanly.
But anyways, on my first time, I faked it, and ofcourse, i've had to fake it since.
I never had sex before so I don't know how to get there, and when masturbating, I have a hard time getting thre, unless it's with a vibrating massager type of thing. I have tried with the vibrating rings for the penis and no, doesn't work either.
I don't want to tell him because the relationshipis great, and he constantly tells me how happy he is that i get there and how horrible it'd be for him to be one of those guys who can't make (and don't care if) their girl comes.
Advice plz?
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Friday 04 June
By cierria
wtf? why lie anyway. no matter houw much it hurts him you wont have to deal with all this extra bs afterwards. just tll him you like him but he could do better jeez and try to practice or sumthin but dont effin fake it damn.
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Friday 04 June
By cierria
just be honest. jeez. i mean when you tell him it may hurt a little but not as much if its been goin on for months and months. i mean how can ya do t hat 2 sum1. just tll him u like him but try 2 help him find a better technique,work on it. don't lie.
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Friday 01 July
By Mo22
I have been with my fiance for a little over 8 months...when we first had sex, she had multiple orgasms (7-8 one was really long possible string of 2) and she just looked at me funny. She said it was amazing...and my response (i was on my high horse at the time) "what they don't do it like that in OH?" no later to find out she told me that she had had orgasms with her past boyfriends..or thought she did, mini ones at best...
so ever since day 1 she's always had multiple orgasms during sex, once we reached about 20 for her in one sitting before she started cramping up really bad from constant "contracting" from her orgasm (for you guys that don't know it's like having a muscle cramp reallllly bad)
I attribute most of it to us being in an honest open relationship..I tell her absolutely everything, and she the same..that also means asking for things...which on one occasion, I asked her to go down on me while she was on her period (she doesn't believe in period sex in the shower...more afraid she'll get hurt in the shower cause her legs give out upon climaxing) and she said to me "you shouldn't have to ask for it" (not to mention i recipricate while she's not on it frequently more because i like it)
Thus, our relationship is always booming, we're planning marraige in the future...and it's never gone stale...
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