Perhaps the most historically necessary white lie in the world is "faking
." If you're like 75% of American women
, you're guilty of this little in-bed untruth. Unless you are incredibly lucky or have found that special guy, women fake it
It's harmless, right? You put on some "When Harry Met Sally"-quality theatrics and your man is none the wiser, with his ego intact.
Here's the problem: After you have faked an orgasm
once, you often have to keep faking. And since the guy thinks he's found a technique that works, he'll keep doing it -- and you can't really blame him since he thinks you love it. So if you want to stay with him (and actually climax now and then), you've gotta let him know
Or you could also just try something fun until you have a real one
, and hope he sticks to that habit.
to read how four ladies owned up to the big charade.The Redirect
"I had been dating this guy for about three months, and I was really falling for him. The problem was, I could never orgasm with him. The first time we had sex he was like a jackhammer, and I majorly faked. I have no idea where he picked up his technique, but it was terrible.
"Every time after that, I had to fake. I finally just had to tell him the truth. To ease the way, I bought some really sexy lingerie and a few toys and gently broke him the news. He got quiet for a minute but once I initiated some fun, he was ready to try again and willing to take direction, too!" - Becky, St. Louis The Possum
"Me and my longtime boyfriend had great sex at the beginning of our relationship, and then things just kind of died. I started faking and it was terrible. And he would say things like, 'I still got it!' It made me cringe. I was actually losing interest because I felt like I was looking down a long road of never having an orgasm again.
"One day I decided I just wouldn't fake. I laid there totally still and silent, and finally he asked me what was wrong. I told him, and he seemed a little mad but was more embarrassed than anything. He went into the bathroom for over an hour and when he came out he was ready to go at it. We've been a lot more open since then and our sex life is back on track!" - Megan, Chicago The Revenge Reveal
"I always had a really hard time finishing and I would continually fake with almost every guy I was with. I pretty much figured I was just fated to always fake.
"After my last relationship where the guy turned out to be a real jerk, I told him I had been faking all along. He ended up breaking into my e-mail and sending out a mass message to all my contacts filling them in on my faking ways. I was mortified!" - Amy, Omaha, Neb. The Honesty Approach
"Ever since I started having sex when I was in my late teens, I felt like faking was par for the course. With few exceptions, I found myself faking on a regular basis. It was tedious and annoying. After a few months of dating a guy I really liked, I decided I would stop selling a false bill of goods and just tell the truth.
"Bad idea! He got up and left and never called me again! Now I am with a great guy who I was very open with from the beginning. We make sure to always try different things and communicate. It seems to be working!" - Liz, Kansas City, Mo.Tell us!
Do you ever fake? Have you ever confessed to a guy that your big O was BS?