Researchers in Israel have found that women who encounter workplace sexual harassment do not usually report the incidents and tend to leave their companies instead. As your resident Human Resources expert, I'm not shocked or outraged by this news. In fact, I fully support this course of action.
There is no reason, ever, to tolerate a hostile work environment. It's insidious, it's damaging and it's unacceptable. I encourage you to stand up to anyone who harasses you and devalues your work. But if your employer hires or keeps on staff someone who thinks it's okay to treat you like a second-class citizen, that means your company is already broken.
Reporting the harassment and enlightening the "perp" is worthwhile; however, the most
effective way to make the harassment stop is to formally reject your company, focus on your career and get the heck out of there. Implement a strategy of shock and awe.Click here to read why reporting harassment isn't worth it.
Trying to change the system from within has failed American women for decades. Don't be a sucker -- say "I quit" instead.
The Most Annoying Co-Workers
Insistent Instant Messenger: No matter how much time or miscommunication could be spared by talking face-to-face, this person insists on talking virtually, via IM or email. If they're a superior and you're not online, they send you an email to ask where you are (meanwhile you're at your desk, ten feet away).
Cycle Sister: This is a person you're not particularly fond of, but for whatever cosmically twisted reason, your daily routine is synched up -- you walk into work at the same time, and from there, you see your Cycle Sister in the bathroom, on your smoke break, at the vending machine, and on the way out. Even if you do like this person alright, the sheer coincidence makes things creepy and awkward.
Mr. Flibble, Flickr
The Get-a-Lifer: This person asks you out to post-work drinks on a regular basis, despite the fact that you always decline. And the one time you went to a party at their house, it ended up being the two of you playing Taboo. The Get-a-Lifer is often the same person who plans meetings at 6 p.m. on Fridays, not realizing that everyone else goes out with their friends on the weekend.
bealluc, Flickr
Listserv Leech: If someone has taken this person's lunch out of the fridge, the entire staff will be notified via the staff listserv, which everyone else uses exclusively for professional communication. Alternately, this person may use the listserv to let everyone know about the lack of toilet paper in the bathroom, a party they're throwing, or to ask who took that package off their desk.
Angry Typist: The Angry Typist pounds on her keyboard with the vigor of someone hitting their ex-boyfriend. The violent clacking leads to many misunderstandings, as this person is often unaware of their problem and is not actually pissed.
.faramarz, Flickr
The Toilet Mouth: You're on the pot midstream (or worse) when the Toilet Mouth strikes up a conversation. This person also likes to chatter at the sink for before and after they go, giving no one in the bathroom privacy to do their business.
Megan *, Flickr
Monday Manic: The coffee hasn't hit your bloodstream yet, and the Monday Manic is flittering about, imbued with an unnatural amount of energy and optimism. They're telling stories about how freaking great their weekend was and so stoked about the work they get to do that day.
Old News Hound: OMG, did you hear that Lindsay Lohan is dating a girl!? The Old News Hound is always the last to know about everything, but the first to belt out at a stale headline at full-volume to their surrounding coworkers.
Rash Revealer:This person has no shame getting on the phone with their doctor, their spouse, their aunt, or their mom to discuss a rash, a yeast infection, and any other personal bodily defect or medical issue.
maydaFUNKbewithu!, Flickr
The Chit-Chat Blaster: If this person catches you in the break room or on your way out of the bathroom, you're done for a half an hour later they're still yammering away about the paint samples they're considering for the livingroom, the deli they ate at for lunch, the meeting the boss called earlier, the diet they're on. The Chit-Chat Blaster also doesn't notice you inching away, and generally lack the ability to pick up social cues.
Some might say it's anti-feminist to say that a woman's two best choices are to put up with it or leave. I think it's anti-feminist to judge another woman's choice (unless you are the Octo-mom and then I'm going to judge you so hard).
HR Is Not Your Pal
If you choose to stick around and report the incident, there is no turning back. Your HR representative is tasked with moving quickly to protect the organization's image, and the system for investigating the claim of harassment is callous.
The goal of a harassment investigation is to establish blame and shift liability away from your employer. The burden of proof falls on your shoulders. Rather than asking how you want the situation to be resolved, Human Resources is primarily concerned with determining if you are lying or telling the truth. Even though you are a victim and your HR rep may sympathize, your feelings will only be addressed to the extent that it protects the company.
If you are successful at proving the harassment, which is very unlikely, you may be asked to continue to work with the offending employee – no matter how awkward this feels for you – because he has the right to a "second chance" according to most corporate disciplinary policies.
Another, even more insulting solution is that your harasser might be paid to resign -- HR execs see it all the time. The goal is to pacify the victim and secure a promise that the offender will not sue the company for firing.
Be Your Own Union Rep
I believe the best way to remedy harassment effectively in the workforce is to quit. Companies are only motivated to change their behaviors when faced with financial implications, so I suggest that you turn in your resignation and then inform your employer about what happened.
This doesn't sound like a great solution, but I know firsthand that the cost of replacing you -- and your awesome institutional knowledge – is enough to draw thoughtful and sincere attention to the problem.
Telling a woman not to report harassment seems counterintuitive and anti-feminist; however, I see this action as the most courageous action a victim can take. Dare to demand a work environment where gender equality and cultural sensitivity are important, and accept nothing less -- even if that' means finding a new work environment.
Laurie Ruettimann is a writer, speaker and HR exec with Fortune 500 experience. She blogs at Punk Rock Human Resources.
The Most Annoying Co-Workers
Insistent Instant Messenger: No matter how much time or miscommunication could be spared by talking face-to-face, this person insists on talking virtually, via IM or email. If they're a superior and you're not online, they send you an email to ask where you are (meanwhile you're at your desk, ten feet away).
Cycle Sister: This is a person you're not particularly fond of, but for whatever cosmically twisted reason, your daily routine is synched up -- you walk into work at the same time, and from there, you see your Cycle Sister in the bathroom, on your smoke break, at the vending machine, and on the way out. Even if you do like this person alright, the sheer coincidence makes things creepy and awkward.
Mr. Flibble, Flickr
The Get-a-Lifer: This person asks you out to post-work drinks on a regular basis, despite the fact that you always decline. And the one time you went to a party at their house, it ended up being the two of you playing Taboo. The Get-a-Lifer is often the same person who plans meetings at 6 p.m. on Fridays, not realizing that everyone else goes out with their friends on the weekend.
bealluc, Flickr
Listserv Leech: If someone has taken this person's lunch out of the fridge, the entire staff will be notified via the staff listserv, which everyone else uses exclusively for professional communication. Alternately, this person may use the listserv to let everyone know about the lack of toilet paper in the bathroom, a party they're throwing, or to ask who took that package off their desk.
Angry Typist: The Angry Typist pounds on her keyboard with the vigor of someone hitting their ex-boyfriend. The violent clacking leads to many misunderstandings, as this person is often unaware of their problem and is not actually pissed.
.faramarz, Flickr
The Toilet Mouth: You're on the pot midstream (or worse) when the Toilet Mouth strikes up a conversation. This person also likes to chatter at the sink for before and after they go, giving no one in the bathroom privacy to do their business.
Megan *, Flickr
Monday Manic: The coffee hasn't hit your bloodstream yet, and the Monday Manic is flittering about, imbued with an unnatural amount of energy and optimism. They're telling stories about how freaking great their weekend was and so stoked about the work they get to do that day.
Old News Hound: OMG, did you hear that Lindsay Lohan is dating a girl!? The Old News Hound is always the last to know about everything, but the first to belt out at a stale headline at full-volume to their surrounding coworkers.
Rash Revealer:This person has no shame getting on the phone with their doctor, their spouse, their aunt, or their mom to discuss a rash, a yeast infection, and any other personal bodily defect or medical issue.
maydaFUNKbewithu!, Flickr
The Chit-Chat Blaster: If this person catches you in the break room or on your way out of the bathroom, you're done for a half an hour later they're still yammering away about the paint samples they're considering for the livingroom, the deli they ate at for lunch, the meeting the boss called earlier, the diet they're on. The Chit-Chat Blaster also doesn't notice you inching away, and generally lack the ability to pick up social cues.

















Comments:
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Thursday 26 February
By ngladstone2
Laurie,
If you're going to go through the trouble of resigning a job for harassment, why not pull together enough evidence to sue a company that allows a hostile workplace?
Reply
Thursday 26 February
By Laurie Ruettimann - Punk Rock HR
Thanks for the comment. Suing is overrated in most cases. The burden of proof in court is on YOU, the financial rewards are low, and the court/jury system often victimizes the victim in many cases.
My advice is to focus on what you can control. Provide information to the company, find a new employer that treats women with respect, and be honest in 'the marketplace' when you talk about the company. This is 2009, not 1959, and companies respond to external pressure to their reputation (& profitability).
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By colleen
So you are also saying bad mouth your previous employer without the benefit of a claim ever being filed?
You think a company will respond to public pressure? The pressure will be on you for making a statement that cannot be proven because you never even filed it. I don't think so!
Saturday 28 February
By C. Post
Laurie,
You act as if jobs grow on trees. For some industries there are few choices of where to go. Most prople can't quit and spend 3 5 months on unemployment while they look for a job. Also how would you answer the question of "why did you leave your last job" when at an interview? Also how do you turn "I left because of unproven sexual harrasment" into a positive?
chuck
Thursday 26 February
By Ask a Manager
I agree. Make it known why you're leaving, but leave. A company that permits that isn't a company you want to be working for.
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Memphis Mama
You are assuming that the company knows about the inappropriate behavior. I have seen managers fired for sexual harassment because somebody finally did report them. I've also seen companies not believe the complaints of an ex-employee because they assume it's sour grapes.
Friday 27 February
By Memphis Steve
You say 'anti-feminist' as if it's automatically assumed to be a bad thing that no woman wants. I think you're making a bad assumption with that. Many women who stand up for themselves do not accept or desire the label of 'feminist'. You might say it seems weak, or cowardly not to report harassment, but to simply say that it seems anti-feminist is much like saying that it seems anti-Democrat or anti-environmentalist. To many, that has nothing to do with the issue of reporting or not reporting. Your article was excellent. But this one term seemed to stand out.
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By another manager and a feminist
Your suggestions are all well and good for the professional who has someplace to go. A single mom who depends on her income and benefits to care for children cannot up and leave. I think there's a step missing in your approach.
Stand up to the harasser, name the behavior, preferably in front of others. "this is harassment and I want it to stop" The law, although not perfect, protects the harassed from recrimination from the company.
We have a right in this country to work in an environment free from harassment. I'm old enough to remember when that wasn't true. We cannot go backwards and hide.
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Elizabeth
Bravo. Since when is it OK to just quit and ignore a situation. Ignoring it allows the behavior to continue. Women are the most courageous beings on this planet. A quick review of what women have experienced in their lives and the changes that have occured from courageously standing their ground should be what all women strive for. I am a sixty seven year old feminist, mother, and a grandmother, great grandmother to six girls. Thank you for standing your ground.
Monday 02 March
By Cindy Gibson
Well said!!!!!! We have done enough of the running and hiding, it is time for companies to take a long and hard look at how they handle these cases.
We all tolerate in one way or another different forms of harassment. Enough of us do not take the necessary action to stop it. The reason is simple. Management views women who do not tolerate it as trouble. They would rather sweep it all under the rug, and move on. In most cases they take the report and do the required, (which isn't much) work that they legally need to do, and move on. Men who harass, know this, and to be honest I do not think they have the slightest idea that we do not appreciate what they are doing. they have gotten away with this for so long, and no one has ever asked them to stop, therefore: they continue.
Saturday 28 February
By Chris
I did this once,,,but not because of sexharassment. After I left ,I did write the company the reason why and did learn latter that it did have a possitive effect on the company.How ever,,,what if the job pays well and one can't afford to find a replacement. Maybe it would be better to just put the sick wacko in his or her place and let them know there are plenty of places other then the work enviroment to pratice thier lonelyness. What do you have to lose,,,if they dont like your attitude,,they can fire you and you can collect your pennies until you find another decent paying job. For some peole,,,I know this is the hardest thing ot do,,me for one,,,,but why let someones elses bad behavier affect you.
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Barbara
Leave? What kind of crack are you smoking? Organizations have responsibility for protecting staff against hostile work environments. In 2009 some men still feel free to sexually harass colleagues and subordinates. And yes, women do this also. A sexual harassment case is difficult to make without documentation (e.g, incriminating e-mails, photos/video) and/or witnesses. If you have any of these at your disposal and feel your HR dept. will be unsupportive, go to the US EEOC or a state or city EEO entity. If a boss called a subordinate the "N" word, would you suggest they leave also. We're in the 21st Century..this is throwback mentality.
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Been there
This woman is an idiot. Has she seen the unemployment numbers lately? Sorry, but feeding my kids comes first, when I was in this situation I had to keep my job, leaving is not an option. There are no other jobs in my region that I am qualified for that I can support my family with. In my case the harasser turned in to a stalker - in many ways it was the longest year of my life, but he retired and is moving away. I had to start documenting his behavior, and informed my boss about it. He did his best to keep the guy away from me and checked in with me every few days to be sure there were no new problems. If I had quit, I'd have had to move back in with my Mom (800 miles away) and it would have disrupted my kids school, our lives, and everything they've known for the majority of their lives. This author isn't looking at the big picture.
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Fran
This author is ridiculous!!!! We have fought for our rights in this country since it's inception. It would be an insult to the men and women who have fought for our rights and freedoms to just give up. The author seems like the type to tell people to run away from all their problems. He is an HR expert. He, as well as the company would love to see the problem just go away instead of having to deal with it. Also, if HR is not willing to do anything about the problem, they should be sued.
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Consider the source
HR person telling you not to do something that will make her job more complicated?
I wonder why would she do such a thing... Certainly must be to protect YOUR interests!
If a sexual harrassment case is not resolved fairly within the company, suing the company isn't the only option (but if you do, you don't even have to prove that you've been sexually harassed, you only have to show that the company failed to follow the recommended administrative procedures for resolving suc a conflict) - there is also state's labor authority, that will in many cases go to court on your behalf.
Moreover, you would forego any seniority-based advancement consideration, and changing jobs often does not look good on a resume.
And the way the economy is right now - good luck finding another job
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Candi
Good article but I don't agree. I was in the same boat. I was with the company 8 years and the harassment started. Why should I leave a good paying goverment job just because of him. I mean he was a bad sexual harassment . I had to work with him on weekends by my self when it totally started. When it went more physical. I told my boss I didn't want to work with him on weekends anymore. She asked why but I gave her another excuse as to why. But a couple months after that when I was off on maternity leave I got a call from work. I was asked if this person ever sexually harassed me. I asked why she was asking. She said this other employee asked for a tranfer to another building and the boss asked why. She said she could work with this guy anymore. The boss put 2 and 2 together. HR did their investigating and turns out that 12 people came forward to the harassment against him. Most of the people he harassed moved to different companies and different building because of him. But HR and my boss told me that if I would have just come forward it would have been my word against his. Which is bad. But my point is that if he is doing it to you he is probalby doing it to others too within your company.
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Jessica
Sandi, did the company end up firing the guy? My problem with these companies (my employer included), is that if I am bothered enough by a person to feel harassed, I want that person out of my life totally, not for someone to tell the guy/girl "hey your harassment is bothering her, so we need you to not do that anymore." All this does is create an even more uncomfortable working environment where then the person gives you dirty looks, etc., and now you're not only working with a person who harassed you, now you're working with an all-out enemy because they know you "ratted them out." There is a guy in my company who I know for a fact has been reported at least once, and probably more, for harassment, yet they keep him there. Why? because he is a lawyer. If he were a csr or a typist, etc, he would have been gone years ago.
Saturday 28 February
By Marush
I have been sexually harassed at jobs all my life. Because of these assets whenever I worked with doctors in the hospital, they would constantly ask me out and/or rub up against me in the hallway in appropriate ways - even when I was married! So, I quit working and got a divorce and now I stay home and get alimony. :)
Reply
Saturday 28 February
By Give me a break
What? You give women a bad name. Get a job, woman.
Saturday 28 February
By Sheri
All this is true,however, what if the tables were turned and the harrassment comes from a female "boss" trying to persue a male employee? It probably would backfire and there would nothing be done about it because she is a female. My husband works for a company that is run basiclly by women.He is so afraid of opening up his mouth about it due to the econimy situation,it's pittyfull,why should he and our famiy suffer through this,it is so unfair .
Reply