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Three seasons in, "Rock of Love Bus" -- Bret Michaels' attempt to find romance on the road -- still brings us the blondest, bustiest, bimboest challenges currently on television.

Even better, the Poison frontman and solo artist is in on the joke, so we don't have to feel entirely exploitative when we watch.

We got some one-on-one time with Bret (sadly, not in his bed) and asked him for gossip about the craziest contestants, past and present. His answers? Pure gold. Read on.

Who's the best kisser on the show?

There's been some quality sucking face going on. Ambre is up there, and this season, I'd say Mindy, Taya, Ashley and Brittanya.

Do you ever worry about a skin- or saliva-borne outbreak among the girls?

In the heat of the moment, no. Later on the morning after, absolutely.

The first two seasons, you chose Chicago girls (Jes and Ambre) over the other finalists (Heather and Daisy). Do you have a thing for Midwestern women?

I must say I do like girls that can dress up and be smokin' hot, but they have to be down-to-earth. If you're a Steelers fan, you need down-to-earth people. Christ, we're the only team besides the Giants who don't have cheerleaders.

Click here to read who Bret regrets kicking off and his thoughts on who was born genetically female.




Worst Tattoos on Women

    We miss our old dead iPod, too, but we're pretty sure it's not in Heaven.

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    Ok, we believe you.

    Horrible Tattoos

    Most unicorns can't stretch their necks quite that far, but this one's father is Pokey.

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    The District of Columbia's "Flasher Maps" Program was a huge success, especially with male tourists.

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    Funny, our power-up button is somewhere else.

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    Maybe she just plans on having lots of kids.

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    We "beleive" she should ask for a refund.

    Someone never learned the difference between "its" and "it's."

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    We've heard of guys naming their hands, but never women.

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    The ever-popular "Elf and Naked Woman Collect Leaves Under A Cat Sun" tattoo.

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Have there been any girls you cut but now think, I wonder if I let that slip away?

Kristy Jo was my one -- I let her go too soon. As nutty as she was, there was real emotion between us. But once we connected she had trouble with the fact that it was a dating show.

Kristy Jo ran to that closet every 13 seconds and was packing her bags. I'm like, "Look, I'm gonna pack them for you in about two seconds." You can't run away from every problem like that in a relationship. I love doing stuff, and I don't get bored, so I don't need drama.

Who would you rather let babysit -- Lacey, Marcia, Angelique or Brittaney Angel?

You're gonna think I'm crazy, but Lacey -- she's the most caring. That girl is a Jekyll and Hyde but she was malicious because she actually wanted to date. The real Lacey is a great person. She's great with animals, and I think she'd be great with kids.

Potes from TWOP asks: If you could spend an evening with either the Superbowl-winning Pittsburgh Steelers or a football team's worth of eliminated contestants from all three seasons of "Rock of Love," which would you choose?

I love the Steelers and love to party with them -- and have, many times. But I would have to go with the women on this one, and I think the Steelers would understand.

Who looks the most different without makeup? Sometimes it's hard to recognize the girls in the morning shots.

For sure. I've had a few where I've said "Wait, who?!" Hoo ... The one that looked a little different without makeup was definitely Brittanya. Not bad, she still was sexy, she just looked much different without makeup.

What do you think is the percent chance that a contestant during one of the seasons was born male?

I've seen the vajayjays and they're real. I know they made fun of Angelique, but I've seen her porn and she's definitely not a dude.

I don't buy Natasha being a man. Obviously it piques your curiosity when every girl is telling me that so I'd get rid of her. That isn't what did it -- we just never got past the friend zone. I wanna be in the end zone, not the friend zone. I saw when we were, uh, having fun on the bus, I definitely saw underneath the tutu thingy and there was nothing hanging down.

Did / would you ever let Big John have a crack at your second string if he was feeling one of them?

Absolutely. In fact this happened a year ago, he liked Cori a lot. I'm loyal to my buddies, and if I really like somebody or John does, the rest of us just don't go there.

Coming up from Bret: More deep thoughts on boobs, plus his best love advice.

"Rock of Love Bus" airs Sunday nights at 9 EST; Michaels' tour is busing to a city near you.

Awkward Smooches

    Which is worse -- seeing Will Ferrell in his underpants in every movie or seeing him kiss another dude in an unholy marriage of beards? *Shudder.*

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    McCain turns his back for a minute, and Rudy swoops in on wife Cindy? It's enough to make McCain make that face!

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    McCain's follow-up attempt to make Cindy jealous only made things worse for everyone.

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    Bret Michaels and everyone on "Rock of Love" -- this bandana'd kissing bandit slurps from one skank to the next while we reach for our tubes of Abreva.

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    You don't have to be a body-language expert to understand Baba Wawa's feelings about Rosie.

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    Paris has barely set her lips on the poor kid, and his chin is already breaking out.

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    Wonder where Paris got her manners? Hint: These are her parents.

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    It might be that Tommy Lee doesn't care who he makes out with -- at this point, he may not even be aware he's making out with anyone.

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    Is that a look of bliss or agony on Condi's face?

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    We can hardly believe Hef and Kendra broke up -- just look at that sizzling chemistry they shared!

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