You're chatting on the phone, when suddenly your guy asks: "So ... what are you wearing?" The next thing you know, his voice is lower, he's breathing heavily, and he's waiting for you to ..."Er ... touch your thingy. Tee-hee."
Clearly, not all gals were blessed with a throaty voice, a sailor's vocabulary, and the confidence to get hot and heavy over the phone. That's why we asked "Chelsea," a real live phone-sex operator, for tips on what guys like ... and how to raise your phone-sex comfort level if you're the shy type.
Click here to read Chelsea's rules for aural sex.
Get Comfortable
Part of the lure of sex chat lines is that callers are safely ensconced in their own environments, which puts them at ease and helps them open up about their fantasies.
Find a place where you can talk -- or do other things, wink wink -- in privacy. Turn out the lights, or fill the bathtub with bubbles -- whatever makes you feel less vulnerable and more relaxed.
Sex Up Your Voice
To ante up the seduction factor, lower your register, and speak a bit more slowly than usual -- think breathy and husky. This will help you get in the mood, and it keeps your nosy roommate from overhearing. A glass of wine or whiskey may help, but don't overindulge. You want to sound sultry, not slurred.
Always Embellish
So you're sitting around in sweats, a holey T-shirt and an avocado mask. But as far as he's concerned, you're wearing head-to-toe Agent Provocateur.
Chelsea's clients always want to know what she's wearing, so she offers detailed descriptions, whether it's patent leather boots on a dominatrix or a sexy schoolgirl uniform (a good place to start if the thought makes you nervous).
Be Enthusiastic
"Enthusiasm goes a long way," says Chelsea. "Men want to feel like you're enjoying the sexy talk as much as they are, and that you're into their fantasy. Just go along for the ride."
If you're too shy to share, keep the momentum going by lowering your voice and asking, "And then what would you do to me?" Moaning, lustful sighing, saying his name and compliments also work wonders.
Don't Freak
He wants to do what?!? Not everything he whispers into the phone will be something you're totally up for. But even when Chelsea hears a bizarre or request from one of her clients, she's careful to not sound shocked or mocking.
She recommends "chuckling knowingly" rather than laughing if something takes you by surprise. "Try to be as natural as possible, and react normally to things." Just go with the flow (those moans we mentioned) so he won't feel judged.
However, if you are really uncomfortable with what he's saying, it's more than fine to end the conversation or change topics to something you enjoy.
Get Graphic
In Chelsea's line of work, the language is no-holds-barred ("There's no room for coyness," she explains). Using, ahem, colorful euphemisms can heighten the down-and-dirty factor of your conversation.
If you're not the potty-mouth type, do try to find "grown-up" words that you're comfortable with. Even penis is better than the ego-deflating "weenie." Another trick? Have him describe each step first, then coo it back to him -- letting him steer the language can take the pressure off you to perform orally.
Don't Be Afraid to Take the Lead
Want to share a fantasy of your own? Spill it, sister! "Men like to be told what happens next," says Chelsea. "And they want to know what you like, because they get turned on even more when you're turned on."
Tell your guy what you're imagining him doing to you; it's about your fantasies too. Chelsea says that even when she's inadvertently crossed the line (say, asking if he wants to be spanked when that's not his thing), it's easy to bounce back. Just switch back to a fantasy you've heard him mention and he'll have forgotten about it in no time.
Tell us: How do you break the phone-sex ice?












Comments:
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Tuesday 19 October
By peaches
I tried for th first time today...OMG was amazing...if you are comfy enough to have sex IRL, then phone sex should come easy. I too am lucky and can cum without touch...and knowing that my words are powerful to keep him going for 20+ minutes really does it for me. Don't be afraid, just b yourself.
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Tuesday 19 October
By peaches
It isn't even always the sex that is great...describe a sensual massage, or slowly tracing the outline of your lover's body with the tip of your tongue...nibbling or kissing softly from one hand all the way to the other...it is really your tone that matters, and the idea that you want to bring pleasure...som of the sexiest thngs my bf has said to me have had nothng to do with genitalia...
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Monday 11 April
By liz
My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship... so phone sex it's essential.
I use to be very shy when we started to do it and I even laugh some times, but I looked over the internet and I found very interesting articles - like this one- that help me. So, now I'm the one that does the talking, and he loves it!
I ( or he) always start asking: what are you wearing?
And I do what Chelsea says; I tell him that I'm wearing something very sexy or that I'm in my underwear even if I'm not really wearing that.
Then, what I do is that I imagine (and I tell him to do the same) that I'm there with him... So I start to describe him what I' doing to him or what I would like him to do to me and how it feels (it drives him crazy).
Or sometimes I tell him about "that time when we were together".
I recommend phone sex... just try it!!! You'll love it!
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Sunday 24 April
By Rachel
My man and I have been together for over 2 years, and 9 months of those two years have been long-distance. He lives in PA and I live in FL, and we only see each other about 4 times a year. We have done the whole dirty email thing, dirty text message thing, and the dirty picture message thing. Strangely, we have never done phone sex, but after reading this...I think it's time that we give it a try. We have an amazing sexual chemistry...we're both very passionate and lustful toward each other, so I'm sure we'll be very comfortable with this.
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Wednesday 29 June
By lynn
okay so i had phone sex with a guy a while ago (my first & last time) . i thought it went great but he told his friends i was bad at it . im not very loud . i mean i just breathe heavily but never moan , even when i "O" .. i dont know what to do because now im with another guy and he told me tonight when we were on the phone, he was like " i want to ask you a favor , it would really turn me on , and i would love it" and i knew exactly what that favor was !!! he asked me to "touch myself" while on the phone with him . i told him i would then thankfully he fell asleep !! im terrified !! hes much older than me and he was/is also my first love. i dont want to do the wrong thing or i guess not do it right. he told me he wont judge , and we are sexually active like physicly . but only oraly . and even then i didnt make any sounds . what do i do so he knows im actually trying and doing it . ?i want him to know im being honest and im doing it . not faking it . help ???? thanks .
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Friday 09 September
By Jen27
Cool stuff! Also of interest to readers, this related community which describes phone sex operators.
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Tuesday 13 September
By Jen17
cool stuff, tres amusing! really like this site. readers interested in finding out more about the secret world of phone sex operators are also welcome here.
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Tuesday 13 September
By Jen17
cool stuff! I really like this site. Readers interested in finding out more about the secret world of phone sex operators are also welcome here.
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Tuesday 25 October
By Michiel
I'm a young 23 boy from India.. lookin for a sweet sex mate.
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Thursday 27 October
By webmaster
Thank you for this article. Excellent information. Visitors who may be interested in learning more about the secret world of phone sex operators are also welcome here.
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