Facebook turned five in January, and the social networking site has over 150 million users. It feels like everyone I know is on Facebook, from my dentist to my sister-in-law to friends from fourth grade who are now tattoo artists and soccer moms.A Lemondrop reader writes: "My lame-o boss Facebook-friended me. Ew. What do I do?"
We've all been there, right? We open our e-mail and find a dreaded invitation to connect with an ex-boyfriend, a former roommate, or a colleague with no sense of boundaries.
Some folks swear by the "accept request, then quietly de-friend the next day" approach. Here's my take for when it
happens with a co-worker or supervisor:First, Ignore
You are never required to accept a request on any social network. Whether it's from your mother or your clergyman, you always have the right to say no.
Click here to find out what to do if your boss presses the issue.
Lie if You Have To
If you are pressured to accept a friend request from someone outside of your comfort zone, feel free to lie. This person doesn't understand the nature of your relationship, so it's OK to fudge the truth in the interest of self-preservation. You can say, "Wow, that's odd. I didn't get your request." If they push it, lie again. Keep lying until they stop asking about it. Eventually, they'll get the hint.
Call it Out
If someone -- such as your boss -- doesn't take the hint, you can always retreat to the letter of the law. Let your boss know that Facebook is a personal site that you use to stay connected to a small group of people. You can say, "I use it to stay connected to family and friends. I'm sure you understand."
That being said, you should look into your company's Internet policy and be sure that your boss couldn't use your rejection, along with your excessive time on the Internet, against you when it's time for your annual performance review.
Facebook and MySpace do not send rejection letters to users, so I recommend declining the invitation from your boss and pretending like it never arrived in your inbox. Your supervisor isn't your friend, you have no idea what he will do with your personal information, and he does not need that kind of access into your life.
Laurie Ruettimann is a writer, speaker, and HR exec with Fortune 500 experience. She blogs at Punk Rock Human Resources.
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Comments:
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Saturday 14 February
By JKershner
What if your boss follows you on Twitter too?
Reply
Monday 06 April
By jenny harrison
What i want to know is what do you do when your boyfriends dad tries to be your friend on facebook---i think that's pushing the limits of what normal boundaries are. i don't have a facebook account yet, but i want to open one. i don't want to deal with his dad reading about my personal life with my friends.
Thursday 25 February
By Eric
You can always block the person from following your updates on Twitter.
Monday 06 April
By Laurie Ruettimann - Punk Rock HR
You shouldn't accept your boyfriend's father as a friend. If you do, there is a privacy tab on Facebook so you can limit what he sees.
I would just reject him in whole. Who needs that kind of trouble on Facebook?
Reply
Wednesday 02 September
By renee
Here is an interesting variation- a hiring manager asks you to bring up your facebook page. What do you do? Read http://www.womenco.com/benefits/articles/4000-what-if-a-potential-employer-wants-to-see-your-facebook-page
and add your comments
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Thursday 03 September
By catherine garcia
If all else fails and your boss is still pressing the Facebook or linkedin issue you can always report it to the HR dept. This should only be when you have exhausted other means to handle this.
Reply
Thursday 25 February
By Sympathetic
LOL, that would be fine if the company you work for HAS an HR department--the company I work for consists of 3 people, 2 attorneys and myself (office manager, file clerk, secretary, payroll clerk, receptionist, courier, computer repairman, plumber, carpenter, auto mechanic and taxi driver ). I am constantly getting emails from one of the bosses about making this change or that change to the office facebook page and telling me to ask all my friends to become fans....and provide a "professional" photo so he can add a photo album named Support Staff.......so far ..... gosh, I just haven't found the time to do that.....LOL!
Thursday 10 September
By Gina
Lie!?!? Then if that lie is challenged...keep on lying? What sort of advice is this. Nothing, and I mean nothing good ever comes from a lie. You are headed for trouble later on when you can remember your lies.
Tell the truth, and face the consequences. Gezzz.
Reply
Monday 04 January
By Karma
Nice to know that Facebook doesn't notify people that they have been rejected for friend acceptance. When I decline people, I bank on them not asking about it later. So far no one has questioned me about whether I got their request or not. I think it is interesting that the author writes that a friend you are uncomfortable friending obviously doesn't understand the nature of your relationship. I agree with that somewhat, but I also know a lot of people who *seem* to just be after numbers----racking up as many "friends" as possible---for some personal goal. Those folks will likely not notice that you never added them. On the other hand, I think lying isn't the best way either. I think being carefully honest is best. I figure that if someone is foolish enough to bring up the request after I've brushed them off once, it might be better to just tell them that some of your content is private and it would be better to keep it that way.
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