"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him. " -Cher

I was in the beginning stages of getting a divorce from my husband when he decided to take the kids and not give them back. He came to my place and tried to take a bunch of appliances and other stuff that he thought was his, so I called the cops, and when they found out there were no orders issued yet they made him put everything right back where it came from. Later that night he called me up and asked me if I would pack a diaper bag full of stuff to give to him while he kept my kids without letting me see them. What?

Another night my ex decided ... well, frankly I have no idea what he was thinking. He belly-crawled all the way across my snow-covered yard in the middle of the night clenching a knife between his teeth, like some kind of deranged commando. Then he cut the phone line. Of course one of the biggest problems with him was that he never could do anything right, and he accidentally cut the power line as well. I knew something was up when the power went out, and I went to my mother's place a block away to call the police. They caught up with him pretty fast, since it isn't very easy to make a getaway in an ice storm. Especially on a bike. What a moron.

-- Gina, Illinois