Some words make me twitchy -- words like trivial, chignon and, yes, dating. "Dating" has become the collective embodiment of Things I Don't Want To Do. I don't want to make stilted conversation about someone's aversion to bacon; I don't want to be in constant e-mail contact with complete strangers; I don't want to do the laundry it takes to keep my cute outfits at the top of the closet rotation. I also don't want to whine so much. Hence the exorcism.

What I do want is to meet people. To value them for who they are, for what we can learn from each other, and for all the ways our lives will be richer for spending time together. But, for God's sake, I do not want to date them.

Dating carries weight, implications and expectations. And, let me tell you, expectations have gotten me in trouble since I was two years old and utterly inconsolable because my socks were wrinkled. Socks aren't supposed to be wrinkled. When they were -- despite my parents' frantic attempts to solve the problem by putting rubber bands around my ankles -- you could hear my wails for blocks. Now transpose that toddler into a grown woman who's supposed to know better. Yeah. Isn't that horrifying?

Click here to keep reading ...


What clinging to expectations actually does is keep me from enjoying the person I'm with, because I'm so busy fretting about whether he'll ever mesh into my life so I have a date for dinner parties.

Therefore: As dating is rife with expectation landmines, there will be no more dating for me. I plan to meet people and participate in suspiciously date-like activities, but I will not be engaging in the neuroses-filled mating dance that has marked my approach of yore. Thought patterns become beliefs and beliefs become your world -- and I wasn't liking my world there for awhile. But if I shift the way I look at my relationships with people (all people, not just the cute, dateable ones) I can shift my experience ... And hopefully the experiences of those who find themselves in my path.

The men of the dating world will thank me.