0 Comments
After calling out sick twice this week, Jeremy Piven announced that he was too sick to continue his role in a Broadway production of "Speed the Plow." More notable than his departure is his excuse: that he's ailing due to high mercury levels in his blood.

Playwright and smart aleck David Mamet quipped, "... my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."

Check out our gallery of other stars who've gotten doctor's notes for some very unfortunate conditions.

Unsexy Celebrity Diagnoses

    Jeremy Piven, high mercury levels His on-screen Ari Gold may seem spry, but the actor left a Broadway run of "Speed the Plow," saying he didn't feel well due to, yes, a high mercury count. The diagnosis is often associated with contaminated seafood, and Piven's departure does seem fishy to us.

    Getty Images

    Amy Winehouse, emphysema Winehouse reportedly has early stages of emphysema, an incurable lung disease, no doubt caused by her hardy drug and cigarette intake. Given her propensity for reactions to "medication" and the like, we hope that England has a good health care system.

    Getty Images

    Jared Leto, gout After gaining (and then quickly losing) 62 pounds for his role in "Chapter 27," Leto developed this painful arthritic grandpa disease. Interestingly, fans who tried to listen to Leto's band, "30 Seconds to Mars," complained of ensuing ear pain.

    Getty Images

    Tyra Banks, irritable bowel syndrome While interviewing Janet Jackson on her talk show, Banks admitted to having frequent gas problems. Hearing the crew laugh backstage, Banks turned around and yelled (in jest), "ya'll know I fart all time in the makeup room!"

    Getty Images

    Billy Idol, herpes Idol revealed to Rolling Stone that he has herpes, which he called "the worst." He colorfully explained that back in the day it was like, "Yeah! Let's give it to each other and get on with it...it used to be like a Fellini film: nonstop drugs and sex."

    Getty Images

    Toni Braxton, pericarditis Braxton was hospitalized in April 2008 after experiencing chest pains related to pericarditis, in which the sac around the heart is inflamed. "Unbreak My Heart" joke in three, two, one...

    Getty Images

    Napoleon Bonaparte, scabies-plus This French leader reportedly suffered from severe hemorrhoids, migraines, and scabies (little mites that live under your skin and itch like crazy... or so we hear). And perhaps grossest of all, he was short.

    Getty Images

    Mary-Kate Olsen, kidney infection The flashier Olsen twin was hospitalized in New York with a kidney infection in 2007. Olsen has battled other heath issues in the past, including anorexia and kissing Stavros Niarchos.

    Getty Images

    David Letterman, shingles In 2003 late night host Letterman was forced to take off 30 days of work after a case of shingles (that thing you're not supposed to get after you have chicken pox) affected his eyes. Reps blamed his condition on stress, which could be why the right sides of our bodies suddenly itch...

    Getty Images

    Michelle Deighton, impetigo "America's Next Top Model" contestants have grappled with some touching health probs on-screen: lupus, degenerative eye disease, balance-disorder-related-dramatic-fainting. And then there's Cycle 4's poor Michelle, who got stuck with the "itchy skin blisters" storyline.

    Getty Images