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Most of the arguments that my guy and I have had are the result of poor communication. Perhaps I didn't express my feelings in a way that he could grasp, or perhaps he wasn't listening. Maybe I forgot to mention a small detail, or he failed to remember it. Either way, a communication breakdown is bad for everyone.

One key to tackling communication problems in a relationship is realizing that an issue isn't always one-sided. While it may seem as if one partner is not listening, perhaps the other just isn't trying hard enough to get their point across. It takes two to tango.

Communicating properly in your romantic relationship extends beyond the realm of your love life or even the boudoir. It can have an effect on your job, your family and even your pets. It has even been said that properly conveying your feelings to your partner can keep you healthy.

So here are five steps I use that may help you with communication in your relationship.

Click here to read Amanda's communication tips ...



  • Ensure that you are attempting to listen to the feelings being spoken and not just the words.
  • Speak in a way that leaves blame out of the situation. Focusing less on who's right or wrong and more on the actual issues is very important. What's the point of trying to communicate if you're going to throw out roadblocks that will bring it to a halt?
  • Be sure to highlight positive aspects of your partner and your relationship. Sure, there are times when the negatives stand out more than the positives, but remembering what you love about your relationship and your partner will help you remember what's truly important.
  • Sometimes turning complaints into friendly requests makes life easier for everyone. Personally, I feel less demanding if I ask for something to be done rather than complain that it hasn't been. (This works well if you have a really stubborn partner on your hands.)
  • Use negotiation as a communcation tool. For instance: If he promises to discuss issues more often, you will promise to listen more carefully. Negotiation can also be used in the switching off of household chores, if you live together.

    Like fingerprints, no two relationships are the same. So the application of these steps will be different for everyone. They may all work for you, or none of them may work at all. In the end, attempting to fix communication problems is often what counts.

    Tell us: Do you have any helpful communication tips for relationships? Any little secrets to slide our way?