My husband deployed for the first time in the middle of June, less than three weeks after our wedding. I spent the week after he left keeping busy with my family, but once I was alone, reality set in. I was a newlywed with no husband. Having quit my job a week before the wedding, I had no place to be during the day, so I spent my time either sleeping or watching TV on the couch. I barely left the apartment for the remainder of the month. I indulged myself in self-pity, sadness and Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice cream.
It wasn't until July 4 that I felt ready to become a productive member of society once again. I was invited to a barbecue at a friend's house, and rather than sit home remembering what J.B. and I did on Independence Day the previous year (as tempting as that was), I accepted the invitation.
Click here to read how it went ...
Although I was the only attendee sans boyfriend/fiancé/husband, I found myself having tons of fun that evening, taking pictures of people eating, drinking and laughing. There were dogs running and playing in the back yard and fireworks we set off once the sky darkened.
I realized that night that the key to surviving J.B.'s deployment (this and the subsequent ones) was to get out of the apartment as often as I could. After July 4, I made it a priority to schedule as many lunch dates, happy hours and movie matinees as my calendar could handle. Having something to look forward to, even something as simple as getting Cold Stone Creamery with a friend, made getting through each day more manageable.
I also made plans to do some traveling. In July, I flew to San Francisco to work at the Renegade Craft Fair, and took a road trip to Kansas City with a friend to do some shopping. I went back to the Bay Area in August to visit my parents, who were there on vacation.
I also distracted myself over the summer by spending hours upon hours reading blogs and updating my own. I gobbled up tidbits about design, fashion and pop culture thanks to the talented bloggers I discovered, and I was sharing with strangers all of the emotions that I was experiencing. Plus, I could edit and incorporate the photos I was taking with my new camera into my blog posts, fulfilling the creative needs of the right side of my brain.
Without realizing it, I was creating a day-to-day schedule for myself, which helped make me feel more in control of time. Having a routine, rather than wondering what I was going to do next, made the days begin to pass more quickly.
Suddenly, it was the middle of August, and J.B. was coming home. The anticipation of seeing him again was nearly unbearable, and the last 24 hours before I picked him up at the Air Force base were the slowest I experienced all summer. But it was worth the wait when J.B. walked down the hallway of his squadron and straight into my arms.
Immediately, I started crying with joy -- the joy of having him home again and the joy of knowing that I survived his first deployment. I was stronger than I thought.














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Monday 08 December
By R
I'm so glad you were able to keep busy! That definitely is the key to getting through tough times. I thought your sister came out during the summer to visit you too? I'm sure she was hoping to have helped you through the hard times!
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Monday 08 December
By Pamela Jaye
She did come out to visit me -- and I'm hoping she'll come out again when J.B. deploys for the second time to help me through it!
Monday 08 December
By Another AF Wife
It takes a few trips to get into the swing of the here-then-gone-then-back-then-gone-again deployment schedule. Some times are easier than others, but what I find I consistently learn is how resilient, strong and independent I am. Though as much as I'm amazed at myself (i.e. for dealing with the horrors of home ownership), I'm still awed by all the other women (or spouses, whatever) that are able to deal, too. I guess life still goes on, so why not make the most of it whether or not the hubby can be there? Good for you, and good luck on the next one!
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Monday 08 December
By jess
I am glad you made it through. Seems like a tough lesson, but now you know that you can do it! (even though you don't want to). Maybe the next time he deploys it will be a little easier. I am having so much fun learning about this experience!!
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Wednesday 10 December
By Jessica
I'm sure a lot of women will take comfort in hearing your story.
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