Times are tough, so we're offering up a free resource we all have: other people's mothers. Each week a staff mom (nurse, guidance counselor, lawyer and shrink) will answer one of your questions. This week, it's legal Q&A with Julieanne's Mom the Lawyer.

A terrible lapse in judgment, I know -- but I hooked up with a guy I work with after a group happy hour. I regretted it immediately, but the worst part is, he doesn't. He won't leave me alone and constantly references our awful, awkward tryst. I'm starting to dread going to the office, and I hardly get any work done because I'm so focused on avoiding him. Now what?

Julieanne's Mom Says:
"Well, it depends. Where is this guy in relation to you in the management structure? It's important to know whether you slept 'up,' with an equal, or, God forbid, 'down.'

"Before we talk about the distinctions -- because they're significant in the eyes of the law -- you need to check your employment agreement and manual. Some workplaces expressly prohibit 'fraternization' at any level, and you may be subject to discipline or discharge.

Click here to read what to do next.




"Now ... if you hooked-up with someone senior to you, you may be the victim of sexual harassment. The law seriously frowns on a supervisor having relations with a subordinate, but you have to take some immediate steps. First, reiterate to this guy that the encounter was a mistake and that any advances from him are unwelcome.

"Next, even though it's mortifying, you have to let HR know. Your failure to notify them about a superior's bad conduct may affect your ability to pursue further remedies. Document any further advances, and keep HR informed. If he continues to harass you, consult an employment lawyer ASAP.

"If you hooked-up with someone of equal rank, first, have a sincere heart-to-heart conversation where you very explicitly tell him you're not interested, and then stick to your guns. You should take every reasonable step to resolve this as two mature adults without involving anyone at work. If that fails, take the same steps with HR as above.

"If you hooked-up with someone below you, OK, what were you thinking? Tell your subordinate (and yourself) exactly what you told me: This is not going to happen again -- not today, not next week, not ever. And don't let it, no matter how many margaritas you have.

"If your subordinate continues to pursue you, you may want to quietly let a colleague know so you have some evidence that you stopped it. But under no circumstances should you continue a sexual relationship with a subordinate, ever. It's not elitism, it's good old-fashioned self-preservation.

"And next time you go out with the co-workers, limit your alcohol intake, or at least eat a big plate of nachos beforehand."

Julieanne's Mom the Lawyer is a trial attorney in Cleveland, Ohio, who specializes in medical negligence, employment discrimination, sexual harassment and nachos.

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