Last week, rapper Lil Wayne announced his latest collaboration: son Dwayne Carter III. "I delivered him; I held the left leg the whole time," Wayne said of the miracle of birth. "It was nasty, very nasty, but it was wonderful." It may sound like a jerky quote, but it's honest: Many men experience overwhelming emotions after witnessing childbirth. Although bringing another life into the world is an amazing experience, for some men, watching their wives give birth can be pretty traumatic.
Psychiatrist Keith Ablow warns that having your partner watch the birthing process can pose a major danger to the relationship as well. Ablow says that many men have a hard time finding their wives attractive after seeing them give birth. "They seem to have trouble seeing them as sexual beings after seeing them make babies ... the images of new life emerging through the birth canal," Ablow wrote in the New York Times.
Who Makes the Call?
So how do you decide if a guy should be in the birthing room? Yes, we want our boyfriends and husbands to share this intimate, life-changing experience -- and maybe a fraction of the pain as we squeeze his hand and scream. But giving birth is plenty stressful for the woman already, so some may forgo having the guys watch for fear it'll hurt their bond post-baby.
If you -- or your guy -- aren't sure he can handle watching the actual process of childbirth, we think the least he can do is support you from the head of the bed, carefully avoiding glancing below the drape covering your va-jay-jay. But more importantly, you should both talk about your anxieties ahead of time and make a plan, so you don't misinterpret something that happens in the moment.
Give us your advice: Was your man with you when you gave birth? Do you think men should wait in the waiting room, or at least have an obstructed view of the OB action?
Also on Lemondrop ... Childbirth may be tough, but click through the gallery below of adorable, nom-nom-able baby legs for sheer proof that it's all worth it. Click here to send us pics of your own babies' lovable limbs.
Precious Baby Legs
One perfect baby drumstick.
Peekaboo!
Casual baby legs.
Baby leg cute subset number one = dangling baby legs.
Chubby baby legs.
Through the baby legs.
Baby leg cute subset number two: baby legwarmers.
Baby legs in water.
Baby legs peeking out of box.
Baby foot rub.
Comments:
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Saturday 08 November
By Nat
My boyfriend stayed with me the whole 26 hrs I was in labor, watched the whole birth, held my hand, & coaxed me through it. He had no problem with intimacy post-baby. So I don't believe this article in my situation, but everybody is different.
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Saturday 08 November
By mike
did ya ever throw a hot dog down a hallway
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Saturday 08 November
By Alex
What do you mean? What does a hot dog down the hallway has to do?
Saturday 08 November
By 10yrs & Happy
Only a guy who has never been there and done that would joke that way... Unless ofcourse you are a complete ass, in which case you probably get exactly the type of headcase women you deserve!
Tuesday 02 December
By Nikki
My boyfriend was with my the whole time contractions and all. He sat down right next to the nurses and watched the whole birth of our daughter Nihilista, and we have had a great relationship since then.
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Saturday 08 November
By Velma
If it transforms the relationship with his wife from sexual (and lets face it, selfish) to something deeper and more spiritual, I think it is wonderful for the father to witness the birth of his child. I had an emergency C-section and my husband was not permitted in the OR. Our relationship was never the same after that because we weren't able to share the birth of our daughter in quite the same way. I became, always and forever, closer to my daughter than my husband could ever truly understand. He was left out of the experience, and that saddens me to this day, and it put an invisible wall between us.
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Saturday 08 November
By tracy
Boy that last baby with the stripe leggins and tux shirt is one ugly kid!
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Saturday 08 November
By Tim
I was there with my wife to witness the C-Section but when they wanted me to cut the cord i said hell no. I was more worried about here than the baby!
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Saturday 08 November
By Danielle
Tracy not everybody is perfect & not every baby comes out pretty but it is gods gift to give these people babies they are lucky ! I don't believe some of this but the hateful comments seriously stop don't be jealous and sit there and judge or make jokes but I know people will because they are cold hearted.
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Saturday 08 November
By cinsy
had to respond to such ignorance.my husband was with me ,helping me.encouraging me and loving me at the birth of my two sons.it was the most beautiful experience in our lives.infact we have a bond of love so sweet from those now grown men that love remains the same.hot,baby i mean hot.......
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Saturday 08 November
By 10yrs & happy
What a completely unreasonable assesment, and frankly it makes men look terrible. Women Don't settle for less than you deserve! (Though check yourself to be sure that the type of man desribed in this article is not what you deserve.)
My husband loved being in the room to watch the birth of our three children, and even requested to catch!
He was part of every aspect from the cutting of the chord, circumsision of son, and bathing the babys in the hospital. He was the most loving Daddy I had ever seen. He was gentle and loving with me and requested to stay and sleep in the uncomfortable chair to help me.
And yes as soon as I was nearly recovered, he was looking for some action!
If Birth made him look at me differently, he hid in very well! Maybe this is the difference between being in real love relationship with deeper passion for the entire package and potential in one another.
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Saturday 08 November
By Melissa
My husband was not 100% sure if he wanted to watch the birth of our youngest son, but after all the pain I had been in for 2 weeks he sat right beside me the whole time through every contraction and every push. And for a man that does not do well with needles or blood he did great. He was the first to hold him and hasn't let go since. Our sexual relationship could not be better. Also he is a lot closer to our youngest son then the other 3 and I believe it was because he was able to be there for that birth.
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Saturday 08 November
By Alexis
Why is it that all those writing a comment are women? Except for Mike with the hot dog comment. All women say it was great to share the delivery with their men, but they might not know how traumatic it actually was for the guys. I admire Lil Wayne's honesty.
I don't think a man should have a full frontal view of the delivery, no need for that.
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Saturday 08 November
By Melissa
As a mother of two beautiful children, I was very lucky to have a husband that wanted in fact demanded to be present at both births. He would go from watching the babies being born to holding my head and hand / offering such great encourgement that I don't know what I would have done without him there. Our first child was easy on me 7 hours start to finish. But, our son.......overdue by a month and had to be induced......oh the labor! 23 hours and a spinal later he arrived! Though my husband and I are no longer together, we have each re-married....I would say go for it! Let the men be with you in the delivery room! It's as much their right as the mom's to see the birth of that precious baby!
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Saturday 08 November
By zoomzone
I agree with Alexis. My husband was with me both times and had no problem with it. But, hey if it was me - no how- no way!
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Saturday 08 November
By shea
I am a nurse who worked in labor and delivery for 14 years. I saw husbands,mothers,sisters etc. reduced to tears innumerable times after witnessing the birth of a child. My husband was also with me during the birth of 2 children and a c section with the third. It was a true bonding experience to be together in the birth of a child you made together. It is kind of a double standard however, when mags like Cosmo tell us not to share too much personal stuff like private personal hygeine with our mates as it causes a loss of mystique. The birth process is not a pretty experience as vomit,poop, and blood are involved. I am all for the father to be there at the head of the bed and help the mom without having an active part in the delivery process.
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Saturday 08 November
By ralphgmiami
I think what is more shocking here are the comments. Why do we need to hear about a hot dog thrown down the hallway? Are you talking about a baby being thrown down the hallway? Or are you commenting that the woman is sexually loose? That's just plain sick. I think what also is disturbing that a few of these women commented that their boyfriend was their with them. Didn't they have nine months to get married to the guy. No wonder our world is in such a sad state. The guy who is the father isn't even willing to marry the woman after getting her pregnant. Think of the insecurities the child will have to grow up with when he or she learns that they were illegitimate and daddy didn't want to marry mommy. If that ever got out, they would be taunted by other cruel children at school.
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Saturday 08 November
By Kelley
Ralph, ur a jerk. Just because a baby's parents aren't married doesn't make it the tradgedy of the child's future life. Maybe the father did want to marry the mother and they wanted to wait until the baby was born instead of creating a lie about when the baby was conceived. It is not a mortal sin these days not to be married and have a baby. Wake up, it's 2008!!
Saturday 08 November
By Val
Maybe men who can't face real life and do not appreciate the amazing strength of real women, should be given a plastic blowup doll under warranty. It would be so much more honest, and real men would be easier to identify for future husbands and fathers who commit for the right reasons.
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Saturday 08 November
By Starlingswings
People, childbirth is disgusting to watch. It may be beautiful in light of the child that it brings about, but it's perfectly natural to be a bit nauseous. Did it occur to anyone writing these articles that, first, Lil Wayne is not the best to comment, and second, that husbands or boyfriends may find it just a *little* creepy that there's a breathing entity the size of a watermelon coming out of where they were having sex with their partner (in some cases not too long before)? It's different for every couple. Yes, being in the delivery room may help a man to connect with his children, but it may equally drive him away. You have to talk it out - and this is the *both* of you talking, not him listening and you trying to convince him. You need to listen to questions and concerns and answer them or bring them to a doctor (or the internet). If your sex drive doesn't die, talk to the doctor about which positions you can and can't have sex in. *That* will keep you connected through the pregnancy. Let *him* be the first to hold the child. If he can be in there, great, but if not don't push him. There are other ways to keep connected and let him feel a part of things.
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