Wow. So, I actually got laid off. It was real. For some reason, part of me expected to wake up and find out it was all a dream.

I went back and read the memo again:

Hi Everyone,
Quarterly all staff meeting on the sound stage. Tell a friend
and make sure everyone is there. Don't be late. Signed, CEO
P.S. Follow me on Twitter!


I don't think the CEO realized this when he sent out the memo about the big "staff meeting," but at the end of the e-mail is his standard executive automated signature, which includes "follow me on Twitter." So it's basically saying, "Why don't you all come down to the sound stage, collect your last checks, and then follow me on Twitter!"

So I followed him on Twitter.

Click here to read what CJ's boss had to say for himself ...

CEO: Feeling like Ari Gold today.

CEO: We made staff cuts yesterday. Never fun. Being profitable as a result provides solace.

CEO: At the dog park.

Well, I thought, he's getting on with his life, and I should get on with mine.

So I got all jacked up on Ambien and ordered a miracle-cooker type thing from some infomercial at midnight. Remember my mantra: If I'm spending, then everything is all right. The next day when the Ambien wore off, I had to call back and cancel the order. I explained to the operator that I'd just been laid off, and without missing a beat, she asked why I was canceling my order.

"Because I ... got ... laid ... off, like I just said."

"Oh, well we can give you 20 percent off if that helps you out so you don't have to cancel your order."

So I had to explain to her that I have no income and that miracle cookers just weren't in the budget anymore, but that as soon as I get my first paycheck at my next job I'll be back. That made her happy.

I'm honestly not responsible for what I do when I'm under the influence of Ambien. One night I painted my bedspread. As in: with paint! Ambien is awesome -- I may be broke and jobless, but I refuse to go without my prescription drugs.

I was talking to my friend Donna who also got laid off a few months ago. She said that at first, she was just spending like usual, but "now I'm wondering what DVDs and books and furniture I can sell." I hope I can find a job before it comes to that ... I hope everyone can find a job before it comes to that.

To do: File for unemployment.