Leave a Comment   
IN OUT
Using Obama's Win as an Excuse to Show Up to Work Drunk. There are precious few days where your boss will find it acceptable, nay patriotic, for you to stumble into the office an hour late stinking of Jim Beam and cheap Champagne.
Using the Last 8 Years as an Excuse to Show Up to Work Drunk. What's the best hangover cure for a 2,920 day bender? Apparently, bananas and helmets are a good start.
Ben Affleck's Keith Olbermann Impersonation. Who knew that Mr. "Reindeer Games" himself could out-bloviate the left's favorite bloviator? Between this and I'm #@%* Ben Affleck we're almost not totally over him anymore. Everyone and Their Mother's Palin Impersonation. We counted 1,132,467 Sarah Palin's on Halloween night alone. Meanwhile, the hours and hours we've spent perfecting our Gloria la Riva impersonation continue to go unsung.
Cloning the Dead. Japanese scientists have successfully cloned a mouse from a dead cell that had been frozen for 16 years. It is hoped that the experiment will pave the way for restoring extinct species such as the mammoth. We vote for the Quagga next! Eating the Dead. A group of Dominican refugees were forced to resort to cannibalism after being lost at sea for two weeks. Survivors say their friends tasted like, quote, beef. You know what doesn't taste like beef: our lunch on a return trip into the porcelain altar.