According to some U.K. pollsters, the average romance now lives exactly two years, six months and 25 days. A new survey says that after this point, most couples give up and plummet head-first into the downward spiral of chronic pajama-wearing and protracted battles over the remote control.Getting Awfully Comfy
A poll of 5,000 British couples who had been married for over a decade revealed that two-thirds of women polled said they no longer made the effort to dress up and look nice for their spouse, while 54 percent no longer bothered wearing makeup (the horror!).
Seven in ten men admitted they frequently left their dirty laundry lying around the house. Even more -- 79 percent -- confessed that they no long bothered putting the toilet seat down.
Partners cuddled more than eight times a day during the first year of marriage, but that shot down to five or fewer times daily after ten years. And 60 percent of those surveyed said they hadn't been surprised with a romantic night out since getting hitched.
Does Messiness Equal Maturity?
John Sewell, spokesman for OnePoll, the organization that conducted the survey, says this points to couples being "too comfortable" with one another. But we don't think it necessarily means couples are stuck in a rut -- instead, it's a form of intimacy, as a relationship evolves from the hyper-excited honeymoon phase to a more settled-in partnership.
John Mayer certainly agrees -- his song "Comfortable," an ode to broken-in love, has lyrics like, "I loved you/gray sweat pants, no makeup/so perfect."
It's always challenging for couples to strike a balance between feeling comfortable and taking the other completely for granted. But expecting the googly-eyed phase to last forever is tomfoolery.
Every guy will do something that bothers you -- and vice versa. Knowing that and loving one another anyway is the definition of real, mature love. Read Lemondrop's piece on drawn-out engagements for more expert insight on this.
Tell us! Are things with your guy just a little too cozy? What do you do to keep the romance alive?
Also on Lemondrop ... In our opinion, leaving the toilet seat up is a stand-up comedy cliche, not proof that love is dead. The behavior of these bad boys, however -- cheating, lying and worse -- is off-the-charts unforgiveable.
Hot Bod Cold Heart
Mario Lopez Who knew that A.C. Slater was such a dirtbag? The buff "Dancing with the Stars" stud reportedly cheated on one ex-girlfriend with a Hooters girl, and his two-week marriage to Ali Landry ended when she learned of his bachelor party antics.
Barry King, WireImage.com
Jude Law He may be gorgeous (and who can resist that accent?) but not so hot was his cheating on then-fiancee Sienna Miller with the nanny to his kids. Miller and Law eventually broke up, and her downward rebound spiral led her into the arms of mangy Rhys Ifans.
Sony
Matt Damon Although he has denied it, Minnie Driver says she discovered she was dumped by watching "Oprah. Say what!? The "Sexiest Man Alive" told the talk show host he was no longer dating Driver; Driver claims it was the first she'd heard of their breakup.
Universal
Hugh Grant Who could forget the Hugh Grant scandal that rocked Hollywood in 1995? Grant was pulled over by LA police for lewd conduct with prostitute Divine Brown. Girlfriend Liz Hurley forgave him and even appeared on his arm at the premiere of "Nine Months" days after his arrest.
Dave Hogan, Getty Images
David Beckham What is it with married celebrities and the hired help? Although he has always denied it (and ok, so there's no proof), Becks was accused in 2004 of sleeping with then-personal assistant Rebecca Loos.
Milk Processor's of America
Chace Crawford We know two things about the "Gossip Girl" boy: He's a total hottie, and he dumped Carrie Underwood via text. US Weekly reported in April 2008 that the pair "mutually" parted ways via cellular phones.
Mark Von Holden, WireImage.com
Charlie Sheen Among other lowlights, Sheen 'accidentally' shot ex-fiancee Kelly Preston, spent thousands on madam Heidi Fleiss, and symbolically took a chainsaw to his wedding portrait with Denise Richards. Ew.
E.J. Camp / CBS
Ethan Hawke We were sad enough when this brainy babe's artsy-smartsy marriage to Uma Thurman ended. But to then shack up and have a baby with the nanny to his kids with the hot blonde? For shame!
Mirimax / Everett Collection
Ryan PhilippeAlthough never officially confirmed, rumors still swirl that Ryan Philippe's divorce from his all-American wife Reese Witherspoon had a little something to do with an on-set affair with actress Abbie Cornish, now his girlfriend. Hmm.
Frank Masi, Paramount
MC Harvey This UK recording artist was caught in the act with his wife's good friend. Who caught them? The other woman's then-boyfriend. Now that's some drama, folks.
Stuart Wilson, Getty Images












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Wednesday 05 November
By Jennifer Bodoh
Me and my Boyfriend have been together for nearly four years now, we were friends four years before this, we have a house, two dogs, and are expecting our first child, but it still feels like we just started dating. Yes, he ticks me off some times, and the other way around, but we still have the romance, I still dress up for him, he still brings me roses and chocolate for no reason, we still go on dates, even though i'm eight months along. You have to WANT to do these things with your partner, you can't expect them, you have to want to do random things for them, just because you love them, when you start expecting for them, they become a chore. so, dress up in something daring for your man, and if he ask's why you're dressed up, just say "because I love you".
P.S. try having sex in someplace other then the bedroom, like in the backyard or on the living room floor, if sex becomes mundane, you have problems.
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Wednesday 05 November
By Danielle
The Romance gets lost when kids come into the picture, also working and then coming home and cooking and cleaning and doing laundry and homework with the kids and ironing ......by the time you finally get into bed......all you want to do IS SLEEP! AND when you have a husband that sits there and watches you do all the cleaning ect ect ect..........that takes a toll on your love life too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Friday 07 November
By Linda
AMEN
Friday 12 December
By terrimisu
Gee, Danielle, you must be with my ex-husband. In fact, last I checked, he had fathered a child with a woman named Danielle. I hope it's not you. If so, I feel really bad for you. He's never going to grow up, be responsible, and do his fair share of work around the house, but he sure will complain if you're too tired for anything but sleep after you're done picking your way through his messes, paying the bills, cooking, and cleaning. He'll sit there and tell you "it's my time off." In short, he's a lazy bum. Best get rid of him now.
Monday 09 February
By Nacole
Touche!
While my husband was deployed and I was taking care of our newborn, with special needs @ the time, and taking care of the house, bills,myself..he would say "Why you so tired?" I wanted to come through the phone and strangle him. He's been home and all he does is sit and watch TV and play video games but doesn't do anything around the house. Yes he will feed our son and change him but that's about it. Giving our son a bath is a chore for him at times..and then he wonders why I have no wanting to be intimate with him..hellfkno!
Wednesday 05 November
By Glen Sayre
this next sept will be our 40th anniversary.
A small part of a longer marriage is treating each other as we would any other good-looking stranger.
Try to use the same cordial words and mannerisums you might use when you meet someone you would like to get to know.
It's something you need to work at each and every day.It takes years of practice and many I'll get it right before I die.
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Wednesday 05 November
By Bill Fox
I agree with these comments, having been happily married for 59 years. Here is an additional observation: After several years, you know each others fears, special needs, hopes, and hangups - do you use this special knowledge in ways that reassure and support the other, or as a means for hurting, demeaning, or controlling the other? To a large extent, what you do in this regard is a reflection of your basic character.
Wednesday 05 November
By DJ
My husband and I have been married almost 35 years. I have to say, there were a few pretty rough patches, but our decision to work through them was well worth it. We are closer now than we have been in our entire marriage. I think having the kids grow up and move out has been a help. We are free to act like newlyweds if we want...there isn't a night that goes by, that we don't "cuddle" on the couch while we watch TV. We both have a lot more respect for each other now, I think, and have become each other's best friends. I wouldn't trade the past 34 years for anything. Even the bad times.
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Wednesday 05 November
By E. Garcia
DJ,
WE will be married for 39 years and we are best friends and I can't imagine my world with out him. He is a gread Dad, great husband and friend. You have to work at what you believe is worth it and we have. Too many younger couples fly to the hills at the first sign of trouble. Trouble is always around the corner. it's how you handle it that counts. All the best.
LG
Wednesday 05 November
By Joe Dwyer aka Duke
If our wives simply accepted this, we husbands would be mentally and emotionally free to explore ways to make our marriage more sensual. But, so many wives expect the impossible from us, even biologically speaking. So what do we do? We go on "defense" with a now "high maintenance" woman, and feel sorry we ever married her. All our energy is spent "acting" for her to keep her happy. "Accept" is the main word in the Serenity Prayer.
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Wednesday 05 November
By Tom
While the passion maybe dim around this time, for true love it last forever.
Need to rekindle your relationship? I came across this article... 10 Ways To Rekindle The Magic In Your Relationship
http://www.curiousread.com/2008/09/10-ways-to-rekindle-magic-in-your.html
Jon
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Wednesday 05 November
By debpilot
After living together for while, what happens is your mate's scent/pheromones become too familiar and then the sexual attraction tends to lessen. It has been suggested that couples may do better if they have separate bedrooms and sleep together only as often as they did while dating when the sexual attraction was at its peak.
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Wednesday 05 November
By gsaintl
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE IN THE SURVEY?!
My hubby & I celebrated our 27th anniversary this past Fourth of July just like we do EVERY year...FIREWORKS!! Make the commitment to continually reinvest in your marriage, and IT WILL pay off throughout the years ahead!!
THE BEST IS YET...TO COME!!
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Wednesday 05 November
By KC
I believe many people just get bored with their spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends and move on. I've lived long enough to say this, I seriously believe, American people especially, have a tendency to be very spoiled with a "I'm intitled to much younger" and live accordingly. I've lived in Europe 3 yrs and don't see that attitude, they seem happy just to have someone! America is huge so there is LOTS OF COOKIE CUTTER blondes and hot guys to move on with, where as Euope is alot smaller and they keep a hold of their dates/spouses longer. Oh well!
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Wednesday 05 November
By Hooter
There is no defense against the female mind, given 10 females ,6 will be divorced by 40, 4 won`t. The hard part is finding out which group your going with before it`s to late.......... Look for the signs, it usally begins with unrealistic expectations and money issues.
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Wednesday 05 November
By Terri
My husband is my best friend. We've been married 38 years and now have 6 beautiful grandkids. I look at my family and it's the greatest accomplishment of my life.
True it takes two to make a marriage and two to break a marriage, sometimes it seems like for some couples it's two easy to walk away. Rather than fix the problem.
I knew my husband for 9 years prior to even dating him. We were good friends first. Nothing is ever perfect or easy it takes work and commitment by both.
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Wednesday 05 November
By Danay
i dont know if this topic could be 100% true... but i would say this about my point of view . i got married after my son turn 2yrs old. deep inside i didnt wanted since i was already having problems with the father .. i would say money and not gettiing to know that person very well you are headed for distaster...and for sure i was, he abuse me mentally, left the house for six months and me stupied after him, then finally moved on our own, and him promsing me it would be all differnet and after 1yr or so i found him cheating on me with another woman at a bar..... now he is married again and had in affair with this wife and put our son in the middle and have the nerve to bring is lover at my home when it was vist time with his son... you know man never changed once its in there blood of whta person they are... i know for sure he treats is wife like he used to with me ... but thinking that she wold be smarter then me and much older then my ex husband i think low self isteem plays a role here..... all i know i am happy with wonderful american men that i met on line 3yrs ago , yes we have our bad days like anyother couple but we alwasy talk it out and love each other very much... we created a amazing daughter and my life is complete .... i think working together and loving and respecting you would be able to go farther then you caould inmgian.... peace !!!!!
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Tuesday 11 November
By jenny
wow, what a great story. I am facing somewhat the same thing u were going through. U inspire me!
Wednesday 05 November
By DJ
Couples need to realize there is so much more to intimacy than "sex". Unfortunately, too many young people think when the "passion" isn't as strong (although it can always be if you want it to be), that the relationship has to be over. You have to remember what made you love each other in the beginning and strive to keep that spark alive. Find ways to show how much you love each other. There are so many little things you can do that make a BIG difference.
Mostly, just appreciate each other and if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with that person, tell him/her just how important they are to you each and every day. I can't imagine my life without my husband and when the day comes that I take my last breath, I want to be in his arms. I can think of no better way to leave this earth.
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Wednesday 05 November
By doobsdragnbaby
I met my now husband in 2002, we had a little girl in 2003, we started living together in 2004, we were married in 2006. I have to say (and he will agree with me) that we had sex more often when we didn't live together. It's not because it is mundane or a chore, its because now we have children in the house so it is much harder to be spontanious. So congratulations on your future little one, and cherish the time that you have now. In a few years, you're not going to be wanting to have sex in the front room just to have a toddler wander out and ask what you are doing. LOL. For the rest of your post I agree with you 100%. Relationships are something that you should want to work at. Not something you feel you have to work at.
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