Since I had my second kid back in February, I've embarked on a fairly rigorous diet-and-exercise program to deal with the aftermath of expanding to the approximate size and shape of an adult river hippopotamus (thanks to the miracle of I've been working out several days a week for months, and I've eaten so many baby carrots it's a wonder my skin isn't Oompa Loompa orange.
I've lost the weight I wanted to, but it most definitely wasn't an overnight process. It took a particularly long time for my belly to stop exploding over the tops of my jeans like a half-unpeeled Pillsbury canister. Eighty-five bajillion crunches later, I still have a little pooch -- perfect for resting a pint of ice cream on, if I weren't eating all these carrots instead.
Click here to read more about Linda's fitness mission.
Okay, so I suppose it's fairly common for a person to have to pony up some hard work when it comes to battling after-baby fat, but I can't help noticing that Jessica Alba, who had her baby, like, five minutes ago, is already bikini-perfect.
Or how about Brooke Burke, who keeps popping out children like some kind of Pez dispenser and magically returning to her model form just weeks later? Or Halle Berry? Or that über-gorgeous Camila whatshername, whose waist was about the circumference of my right bicep three days after she gave birth to Matthew McConaughey's baby.
WHAT IS UP WITH THESE WOMEN?
Yeah, I know, they probably have an entourage of Pilates trainers and dietitians, and some probably have great genes working in their favor, and maybe a few of these fine-looking ladies even had a little, you know, surgical intervention. Or maybe they didn't spend their entire pregnancies working their way through the frozen dessert section of their local grocery stores. Who can say?
It's horrible, but I'm now one of those creepy people who lives for those Us Weekly photo spreads of celebrity post-baby bodies, and if someone's caught on film with some upper-arm chub or a little extra junk in the trunk, I breathe a happy sigh.
Schadenfreude? Sure. But it also makes my belly pooch and I feel just a little better about ourselves.
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Wednesday 29 October
By Laura
FWIW, I'm totally envious of your post-baby body Linda, and I think you could give many of these Hollywood moms a run for their money in the fitness department. I never looked that good pre-baby, but you've totally inspired me to get my ass in gear once I pop out little sucka #2 in a few weeks. Until then, bring on the Halloween candy!
Brooke Burke markets a product called Tauts (it's some sort of post-partum girdle) that she says helped her reclaim her tight belly. Unfortch it's only recommended for women who haven't have a c-section, although they may have changed that since I last looked (http://www.babooshbaby.com).
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Tuesday 04 November
By Lisa
I'd be bikini ready also if I had a nanny to watch my 4 month old while my personal trainers helped motivate me to get through my several hour work-outs. And who would know better than them to do the correct workout for a post baby body. I'm sure there's special exercises i'm supposed to do that i'm sure I don't know about! And i'd also be back to my normal weight if I had the money for a cook to make my healthy snacks and meals. Unfortunately, I don't have any extra money for any of that, including a babysitter to watch my baby. So I have to hope everyday that when my husband comes home from work(which is close to 7pm), we will eat a healthy dinner, i'll get the baby ready for bed and get my 10 year old ready for scholl the next day and THEN if it's not too late and I don't fall asleep - i'll get to run on the treadmill for my 40 minute work-out! (in case you think i'm some overweight person who just is complaining -i'm 35 and a size 6. I'm usually a size 2. And I gained 32 lbs. during my pregnancy)!
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Monday 24 November
By Swistle
I think with celebrities it's PURE FEAR: they know that if they don't look perfect, EVERYTHING gets taken away.
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