Lemondrop

I was driving my daughter to preschool recently, when I was cut off by a huge truck blasting music so loudly that I could only assume the driver was a deaf person attempting to feel the beats. I suppose that's not nice -- it could also have been a teenage boy who had just received his driver's license.

The truck also had a sleek set of plastic testicles hanging from the trailer hitch. Sadly, this trend is somewhat common in my tangled neck of the woods.

Where could the truck's driver be going in such a hurry that he needed to cut me off, I wondered. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed for sure that this villain with a truck so tall, adorned with a huge set of plastic testicles, playing music loud enough to blow out my grandmother's hearing aid was most likely going to:

* a rally where someone was being burned at the stake, or

* to buy a new dog collar to wear as a choker.

Where else could that sort of person be going at 7:00 in the morning?

Click here to find out what Amanda discovered about the mystery driver.

Truthfully, I thought I had them figured out -- until the truck pulled into the parking lot of my daughter's preschool. Surely they were turning around? They weren't really rocking out that loudly in a preschool parking lot while dropping off a child, were they? With a set of plastic testicles?

I parked my car and continued to observe the piece of work, dying to know what the driver would look like. Did he have a skinned head? Was he wearing a vampire cape? Would his shirt display a tacky quote, a redneck anthem, a silk-screen version of fake balls hanging off of one's truck?

Then the truck wheeled around, giving me a good look at the driver -- and my jaw dropped.

The driver had a perm teased to the skies, and she was wearing red lipstick that would scare off the toughest of Jehovah's Witnesses. She also had a cute little boy riding passenger in her testicle-adorned truck.

It goes without saying that I am still confused about the whole situation. Why would a woman want plastic testicles on the back of her truck? Why do people still get perms? These are both mysteries that will plague me for at least the next week.

What bizarre behavior bothers you the most?