Lemondrop

Nobody has benefits anymore, so we're offering up the one resource we all have: other people's mothers. Each week a staff mom (nurse, guidance counselor, lawyer and shrink) will answer one of your questions. This week, it's work Q&A with Julie's Mom the Guidance Counselor.

How do I deal with a passive-aggressive boss? My boss interviewed someone recently, and when she came out of the interview, she actually said to me and a co-worker: "No offense to you two, but that girl was very intelligent." How underminer-y! How do I keep my job and my self-respect?

Julie's Mom says:
"Okay, so you don't like your boss. Your boss is sometimes nasty. It happens. She may think that she has to be a butch boss lady and has to put other people down to make herself feel stronger. Too bad for her, but the real issue is your personal lack of self-esteem.

"If you believe you are capable and competent in your job, no amount of bad-mouthing should interfere with that belief. If it does, then you need to go back to your inner drawing board and try to discover which hidden nerve she is undermining. The problem is you, not her. Nobody can take away your personal power unless you let them. And, if you really can't stand your boss, now would be a good time to look for another job!"

Julie's Mom the Guidance Counselor is a licensed professional counselor. She holds a master's degree in school public relations, has been a school guidance counselor for 20 years and has extensive experience in career planning.

Tell us! Do you have a health question? Need career or legal help? Got a psychiatric quandary (who doesn't)? Put it in the comments, or e-mail editors@lemondrop.com, and we'll send it to our moms.