You'll probably remember from health class that men and women are fundamentally different. Women, for example, practically ovulate with glee every time they see a shoe sale, pink drink, or chick flick. We're just made that way! Here, our (very tongue-in-cheek) rundown of the other requirements for being card-carrying lady folks.

Stuff Women (Supposedly) Like

    Carrie Bradshaw and Co: Women unquestioningly regard Sex and the City's endless chatter about shopping and sexing as a manual for modern life.

    Getty Images

    Catching the bouquet: All girls love weddings, but they especially love diving for the bouquet. It lets them broadcast to everyone in the banquet hall that they're single... but, if they catch the precious stems, not for long!

    Catcalls: Shouts of "Hey Sweetheart/Mami/Shawty/Beautiful" are the number-one way these creatures are lured into potential relationships.


    The Phrase "Biological Clock": Women adore babies (just tote one around your office if you don't believe us). That's why they so enjoy being reminded (at weddings, holidays, baby-showers, etc) that their internal timekeeper is ticking.

    Sex Advice from Cosmopolitan: Creatively-challenged ladies turn to Cosmo for sage advice on how to trick out their in-bed moves using hair scrunchies, mints, fingernails, donuts (really), and a little something called "The Sofa Spread-Eagle."

    Getty Images

    Diamonds!: Ever since icon Marilyn Monroe cooed that "Diamonds are a girl's best friend," women want the actual diamond (with the 4 C's, of course). Heck, they want the whole extravagant lifestyle, ideally provided by a man.

    Getty Images

    Awesomely Bad Chick Lit: Women just can't get into classics like The Grapes of Wrath. They need softly-hued books with navel-gazing heroines they can relate to. Enter Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger and the like.

    Hillary Clinton for President: She's strong and smart, and managed to finagle a marriage to a very hot, very ambitious politico. That's why women rallied behind her and secured that presidential nom. Oh wait!

    Getty Images

    Romantic Comedies starring Kate Hudson: Everyone enjoys watching her hilarious attempts to romance diverse co-stars: Matthew McConaughey, Matt Dillon, Matthew McConaughey. Because when someone annoys us in real life, we too know that deep down, he's sooooo The One.

    Warner Bros.

    Anything by Oprah: Like sheep, women need to be lead by a strong but sympathetic herder. Oprah's show and magazine take the stress out of having to decide what to read, what to buy and which celebrities to worship all by themselves.

    Getty Images